tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11392223501201194042024-03-13T23:42:20.846-07:00Routes Of PresenceRoutesofPresencehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05029550244131198099noreply@blogger.comBlogger216125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1139222350120119404.post-89678705027585490162014-01-06T16:06:00.001-08:002014-01-06T16:13:43.096-08:00Random thoughts on a rainy winter's night<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Photo by Katherine Burnett</td></tr>
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It is a super windy night on Prince Edward Island. We have been having bitterly cold weather the past week, and then today the temperature rose dramatically, sending a succession of freezing rain and then rain in our direction, which turned my world into a slippery, icy, slushy pedestrian's nightmare. On my walk home from work tonight I was wishing I was wearing ice skates instead of boots. On nights like this I think they would be more effective!<br />
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I am writing this post sitting in my living room enjoying a hot cup of tea and listening to the wind howling around the building. I have felt grateful for this cozy little apartment a lot over the past month. Living in someone else's house has its drawbacks in that it never quite feels like it belongs to me, but at this point in my life I am all about simplifying and cutting back on the things that are not necessary so that I can devote my time and energy to the things that matter most to me: my writing, and saving up for farmland. This little home is providing me with a roof over my head while I do this.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Photo by Katherine Burnett</td></tr>
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When I was living in California I started what one of my favourite bloggers, <a href="http://www.chookooloonks.com/blog/">Karen Walrond</a>, calls a daily gratitude practice. Basically it is taking the time every day to consciously spell out a few things that you are grateful for. At the end of every day I would lie in bed and think of three things I was grateful for. Doing this helped me keep everything in perspective, and recognize that no matter what is happening, there is ALWAYS something to be grateful for. Since returning to Prince Edward Island I have not done this as regularly, and one of my New Year's resolutions is to start doing my gratitude practice on a daily basis again.<br />
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Today I was grateful for the delicious, hot bowl of chicken soup that I had for supper made almost entirely with local ingredients grown and raised by friends. I was also grateful for a productive first day back at work after two weeks off. And I am grateful to be inside now, toasty warm, sipping tea and listening to the rain fall outside and the wind wrap her icy fingers around my house.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Photo by Katherine Burnett</td></tr>
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<span style="text-align: center;">Over the past few weeks I have had a lot of time to read. Those of you who have been following this blog for a while will know that I am a big time reader. I LOVE to read. People are always surprised when I tell them that I work often ten hour days and still manage to pack in two or sometimes three novels a week. Reading keeps my imagination alive and active, which is important for my own writing. The Christmas break gave me lots of quality reading time, and I read a few books that I want to share with you. The first recommendation is a new trilogy that I had never heard of. I am not generally a fan of anything that involves witches or magic. Call me closed-minded, but I just like to be able to actually believe the things I am reading, and I also feel there is enough magic in the real world without need for the surreal magic of witches and spells. Nevertheless, after a friend gave me a gift certificate for books over the holidays I spent over two hours combing the shelves at the bookstore for a new book, and not finding anything that was intriguing, so I had a chat with one of the bookstore's employees. A tip for those of you who are fellow book lovers: if you want to be sure of a steady stream of great book recommendations find a bookstore employee who loves all the same books as you do and let her/him recommend your next book. The recommendation this time was the author Deborah Harkness. I left with two books which I have literally been inhaling: </span><i style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.amazon.co.uk/Discovery-Witches-All-Souls-Trilogy/dp/0755374045/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1389053036&sr=1-1&keywords=a+discovery+of+witches">A Discovery of Witches</a></i><span style="text-align: center;"> and</span><i style="text-align: center;"> <a href="http://www.amazon.co.uk/Shadow-Night-All-Souls-Trilogy/dp/075538475X/ref=sr_1_2?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1389053036&sr=1-2&keywords=a+discovery+of+witches">Shadow of Night</a></i><span style="text-align: center;">. If, like me, your eyes glazed over when you read "witch,"stick with me! While there is magic and spells and all the rest of it in this trilogy, these are also great works of historical fiction--my favourite genre. The main character is a historian who is the descendant of a long line of witches. She is a researcher of alchemy at Oxford. The descriptions of the architecture, the art, music and literature is spot on, and will make you feel like you have stepped out of 2014 and into the period in history that Diana (the main character) is living in. The other thing about these books that I love is how thick they are -- these babies are mega thick, with over 500 pages each. I am a fast reader, and easily get frustrated at only being able to spend time with a story for a day or two before I am done reading. The thickness of these novels, and the richness and density of description and plot will slow you down, giving you plenty of time to savour the excitement of the story. Apparently there is a third book in the series on the way. I cannot wait to get my hands on it.</span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Photo by Katherine Burnett</td></tr>
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Another book I just finished reading (this evening) is called <i><a href="http://www.amazon.co.uk/Days-Have-Seen-Englishman-experiences/dp/1482687658/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1387150172&sr=8-1&keywords=days+we+have+seen">Days We Have Seen</a>, </i>by Peter Moore. Peter is an old family friend--he and his wife and two sons lived in a village in Cyprus when I was a child, and my parents and I used to take drives up to the village to visit them on weekends. I knew Peter to be a fine artist, but I never knew that he was also a master storyteller. In this book Peter recounts a number of stories of his personal experience living in Cyprus immediately prior to, during and after the Turkish invasion in the 1970s. I have read many articles and accounts of the invasion itself and the losses sustained, but very few personal accounts of the time immediately after the invasion, and what life was like in the refugee camps. My parents and I moved to Cyprus in 1984, so we missed the immediate aftermath of the war, and for some reason--perhaps because it was still to fresh and raw in people's hearts--we never discussed this period of history at school. The novel I am currently working on takes place around this same time in history, and never having experienced it myself, I am always looking for personal accounts to help inform my writing. This little book by Peter was well written, and is accompanied by some lovely photographs that he took of many of the refugees while at the camp. My only lamentation is that the pictures are not larger so that I could see the details more easily. I hope to have the opportunity to reconnect with Peter and his wife May, and see the original photographs in person when I visit Cyprus this coming year.<br />
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Have you read any deliciously good books yet this year? If you have please leave a comment below! I am always looking for new ones to check out!RoutesofPresencehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05029550244131198099noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1139222350120119404.post-45088719887971457502013-12-31T10:52:00.003-08:002014-01-06T15:00:28.722-08:00On the eve of a new year<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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The sun is filtering into the sea-facing windows of my attic apartment on this chilly winter's day. It is falling in a long column over the window seat usually occupied by one of my cats, over the back and arm of a moss green velvet armchair on which one of my cats is currently napping, across the brightly coloured, hand-woven carpet, the antique wooden chest that is currently my coffee table, and across my lap where I sit here typing, a steaming hot cup of lemon, honey, ginger and cinnamon by my side.<br />
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Outside, the eaves of the historic building I live in are decorated in a heavy fringe of pale blue icicles, the front steps are slippery with a crunchy layer of ice, and the snow banks are turning an otherwise flat cityscape into one interrupted by tall mountain ranges that shift location and shape fluidly, as the snow ploughs mould a new and surprising landscape every night while we sleep.<br />
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It has been a long time since I last wrote a blog post. I have been eyeing my blog a lot lately, and trying to decide whether to re-immerse myself in the journey of presence that I began when I started this blog a few years ago, or to begin a new blog. I began it as a way to share my journey with friends and family all over the world, but also to help myself practice presence on a regular basis. When I started it in the summer of 2010 I was in California, volunteering at Soil Born Farms leading field trips for children and youth, and working on developing my writing. I felt uprooted and unmoored. I am an island girl. I gravitate to small, tightly knit communities, a slower pace of life and a daily intimacy with the natural world that I did not feel in such a large (albeit stunningly beautiful) state.<br />
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In December 2011, I decided to return to Prince Edward Island, Canada. I had been living here from 2004-2010 doing my Master's degree in Island Studies, and then farming and working on developing new markets for a group of local organic farmers. When I left it felt like the right thing to do, and when I came back, I was certain it was the right thing to do, but returning to a country in which I do not have legal rights brought with the need for a lot of sacrifices and hard work. After finally finding full time work in May of 2011, I have had to dedicate myself completely to my day job, which left very little time for blogging or writing of any kind. I have told myself that I started this blog to remain present in a place where I felt out of place, and now that I am home I am so entirely present that perhaps not writing is alright, but in truth I have missed this blog, and all of my readers tremendously over the last two years.<br />
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So I am going to give this a second try. Turn a new page with the start of a new year. There have been many adventures over the last two years, but instead of recalling the past, I think I will focus on the present and future. As I mention at the beginning of this post, I am living in a sweet little attic apartment that I am subletting from some friends. I am also caring for their two cats, Kitten and Miss Mouse. The building I live in is one of the oldest in Charlottetown, Prince Edward Island, and with that come lots of funky quirks that make this one of the most unique living spaces I have ever occupied. One of the perks of my current nest is that it faces the waterfront--a real treat. In the summertime I can look out and see the sailboats out twisting their sails on the shimmering water. At this time of year the water is frozen over -- a thick layer of ice and snow coating the harbour. In the evenings thousands of crows congregate on the ice. The contrast between the sooty bodies of the crows and the brightness of the ice is breathtaking.<br />
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Today is New Year's Eve. I live in the heart of downtown Charlottetown, and preparations are underway to ring in the new year despite the predictions for -34 windchill tonight. A friend who has an apple orchard is sending in lots of hot apple cider to keep those who do go out to brave the cold and take in the ice sculptures and street performers warm. I had planned to be among them, but unfortunately today I am sick, so instead I will be nestled in my cozy apartment sipping tea and dreaming about the year ahead.<br />
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I usually spend at least part of New Year's Eve looking through my journals from the last year, and making some plans for the year ahead. My plans usually involve colourful pens and diagrams, ideas, quote, dreams and sometimes drawings. Do you make a new year plan? What are some of your plans for 2014?<br />
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It is good to be back with you, friends! Here's to a happy and adventure-filled new year!RoutesofPresencehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05029550244131198099noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1139222350120119404.post-15765514191574921202012-12-19T19:22:00.001-08:002012-12-20T03:17:37.301-08:00The next big thing Last Wednesday my dear friend and extremely talented writer, <a href="http://starkholborn.com/2012/12/12/next-big-thing-part-ii/">Alashiya Gordes</a> tagged me to be part of ‘The Next Big Thing’. It works like this: an author answers the ten questions below on his/her blog and then tags up to 5 other writers to do the same the following Wednesday. It has been far too long since I last wrote a blog post, so here goes. Thanks to Alashiya for prompting this one. She has been prompting a lot of writing in my life lately-pushing me beyond my comfort zone at a time when I have very little time for sleeping, let along writing. Thank you for that, Alashiya! <br />
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<b>1. What is the working title of your next book?</b><br />
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<i>Oranges Taste Like Freedom </i><br />
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<b>2. Where did the idea come from for the book?</b><br />
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From the experience of how the external environment shapes internal geography and vice-versa. And from my personal fascination with the very human desire to find a place to call home. <br />
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<b>3. What genre does your book fall under?</b><br />
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Historical Fiction. <br />
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<b>4. What actors would you choose to play the part of your characters in a movie rendition?</b><br />
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Wow. This is tough. It would have to be actors from Cyprus, Greece, Italy or Israel. History tells its story across the maps of faces and in the eyes in this part of the world in a way that it does not in Western Europe or North America. Ordinary people who have known the experience of leaving one's home for good and learning to be an immigrant in a foreign land. <br />
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<b>5. What is the one-sentence synopsis of your book?</b><br />
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Multiple generations of women in a family explore loss, hope and reinvention as they move through constantly evolving internal and external landscapes. <br />
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<b>6. Will your book be self-published or represented by an agency?</b><br />
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Represented by an agency. Once it is written. I am very much still in the first stages of writing this novel so I am taking it one day at a time. <br />
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<b>7. How long did it take you to write the first draft of the manuscript?</b><br />
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As I say above, I am still writing this novel. I hope to have completed a first draft within the next year, and then begin the process of editing. I am hoping that small, consistent yet humble steps will get me to my goal. <br />
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<b>8. What other books would you compare this story to within your genre?</b><br />
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There are many writers whose work has inspired me over the years, and that have inspired my interest in historical fiction and the exploration of internal and external landscape, and the relationship between the two. Some of these are: Lawrence Durrell's <i>Bitter Lemons of Cyprus</i>, Anne Michael's <i>Fugitive Pieces</i>, <i>People of the Book</i> by Geraldine Brooks, <i>The History of Love</i> by Nicole Krauss and <i>Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close</i> by Jonathan Safran Foer, and most recently <i>The Underpainter</i> by Jane Urquhart. <br />
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<b>9. Who or what inspired you to write this book?</b><br />
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Reading an article by Ruth Gruber about her experience of visiting a Displaced Persons Camp in Cyprus in the aftermath of World War II, and learning that over 60,000 Jews were imprisoned on the island between 1945 and 1949--a fact that despite having been raised on the island, I was never told anything about. <br />
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<b>10. What else about the book might pique the reader’s interest?</b><br />
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The descriptions of place, history, culture, and the exploration of relationships and simple yet profound instances of common humanity that reach across the seemingly insurmountable (in the part of the world where I was raised, and at the period of history in which the novel is set) barriers of language and religion. <br />
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My nominations for Next Big Thing includes two writers, both of whom are making waves in the world of poetry and performance:<br />
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<b>Daniela Elza</b> was born in Bulgaria, grew up in Nigeria and currently lives in Vancouver, BC with her husband and two children. She holds two Master's Degrees: one in English Philology from Sofia University, and a second, in Linguistics, from Ohio University, and a PhD in Education from Simon Fraser University. Daniela's writing has appeared in more than 30 publications. Her book of poetry, The Weight of Dew, was published in 2012. (<a href="http://strangeplaces.livingcode.org/">http://strangeplaces.livingcode.org</a>)<br />
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<b>Ahava Shira</b> is a poet, storyteller, performer and long-time journal writer with 20 years experience as an artist and educator. She is the founder and director of the Centre for Loving Inquiry, where she supports women to develop their artistic and entrepreneurial passions and gain the confidence they need to share them with others. Ahava leads individual and group mentoring programs, has her own weekly radio show called Love in the Afternoon, is an active performer and speaker, and leads retreats. Ahava holds a PhD in Education. (<a href="https://www.ahavashira.com/">https://www.ahavashira.com</a>) <br />
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Check out these two ladies and their blogs to learn more about two writers who might just be the next big thing! RoutesofPresencehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05029550244131198099noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1139222350120119404.post-26801779926887908892012-10-04T18:41:00.000-07:002012-10-04T18:41:19.409-07:00Disappearing, re-envisioning & a new name for presence<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
No, you are not imagining things. I am writing my first blog entry in over two months. </div>
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Where have I been? Being PRESENT, that's where! It is interesting that the more present I become the less time I have had for writing about presence. I have been so present lately that I have been wondering if it isn't time for a reinvention or transformation of this blog into something new -- maybe even just a new name to better suit this new journey I am on now back on my home of Prince Edward Island. I haven't come up with a definite name yet, so don't you worry. For the time-being RoutesofPresence is still alive and well!<br />
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I wanted to write this evening for a number for reasons. First because I miss you all --I miss your comments and thoughts and reflections and feedback.....Second because I have a lot of thoughts and reflections about life that I want to share with you. And third because I have been coming across a lot of very cool things lately that I think you might enjoy checking out.<br />
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Let's start with 1.<br />
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Over the last two and a half months I have gotten SO many notes about this blog. Messages that begin with "when are you going to write another blog entry?" or "what's happening with your blog -- I miss reading it" have been filtering into my inbox steadily, and I just want you to know how encouraging it is to know that you value reading my blog entries so much, and that they are helping you to reflect and shed light on your own paths in life. THANK YOU all!<br />
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Which leads me to 2.<br />
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I have been thinking about a lot lately. As you already know, I am a pretty thought-filled lady. And lately my thoughts have been having a field day running wild with dreams and hopes and big life questions that seem to give birth to even bigger life questions the more I think about them.<br />
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Some of the things I have been thinking about are:<br />
1. How do I learn to trust in God's Will more? How do I bring my life so in line with God's Will that I no longer struggle with where I am in life but happily and gracefully embrace my current reality, recognizing that whatever is happening is EXACTLY what needs to be happening for me to be learning whatever it is that I need to be learning at any given moment?<br />
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Yes, that was just one of the questions I have been asking myself lately. Your thoughts would be greatly appreciated as I have (not surprisingly) not come up with a satisfactory answer to this one yet ;-)<br />
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Another question I have been thinking about lately has to do with love and family. I feel deeply ready to be in a relationship with a man and to be raising a family together. So much so that I notice myself not really moving into the little apartment that I am currently inhabiting. At first I thought I was not really settling in because I kept expecting to have some part of my legal or work visa situation not work out, and to have to move again before I had really settled in.....but over the last couple of months I have realized that what is really going on is that while I feel deeply blessed to be in this little apartment, I am ready to be sharing my space with someone else. I no longer want to have everything the way I have always had it. I may struggle to adapt when I finally do get to share my space with another person but I am ready to struggle and adapt and come face-to-face with another person's way of doing and seeing things even when it is tough. I am ready to create a "we" space. To have crayons all over the living room floor. To share my bathtub with another person. To cook for two or three or four people instead of just one. To read bedtime stories and sing lullabies and trip over toys left in the middle of the floor. I am also ready to hold someone and be held. To make love. To have another person to share thoughts or ideas with before I fall asleep at night and when I wake up in the morning. To pray with. And to discuss the Baha'i and other religious and spiritual writings with. I have always really valued my alone time, and in many ways I still do, but I am noticing myself wanting to spend more and more time with others and less and less time alone, and I think this is another indication that I am ready to share my space and time. There is a quote that I read once about a potted plant needing to shatter its vessel if it was going to continue living and thriving, and this metaphor is resonating with me deeply right now. I am ready to shatter whatever is limiting my life from embracing and finding union with the life of another soul.<br />
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Maybe I should share the thoughts and reflections gradually so I don't overwhelm you. Some pretty intense stuff going on in this head and heart these days -- most of it positive -- but nevertheless rather heavy. Isn't presence lovely? ;-)<br />
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I think it's time for 3.<br />
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I have been coming across A LOT of very cool stuff lately. Poems, stories, photographs, videos.....you name it, I have been engaging with it! I will share a few of these things with you below and save some for my next entry -- an incentive you write again soon!<br />
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Cool things to check out:<br />
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1. This video is the coolest thing I have come across lately. It is an incredible conversation between rural and urban, young and old, east and west, and so much more. It is also about sense of place, belonging, love, home, and community. I am posting the link instead of embedding it because it is a vimeo movie.<br />
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<a href="http://vimeo.com/48987560">http://vimeo.com/48987560</a><br />
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2. A thanksgiving recipe from the Glowbal Group for<br />
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<a href="http://www.glowbalgroup.com/pumpkin-spice-and-everything-nice-a-creme-brulee-recipe/" style="color: #556cac; outline: none; position: relative; text-decoration: none;">PUMPKIN SPICE AND EVERYTHING NICE – A CRÈME BRÛLÉE RECIPE</a></h2>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: left;"><br />Link to the recipe: http://www.glowbalgroup.com/pumpkin-spice-and-everything-nice-a-creme-brulee-recipe/<br /><br /><span style="font-size: small; text-align: -webkit-auto;">If you try this recipe out let me know how it goes. It looks like a little bit of heaven in a cup to me!<br /><br />3. This very cool transformation of a lightbulb. I found the photo on Pinterest but it originally comes from images.picsy.com. </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; line-height: 18px;"><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; line-height: 18px;"><br /></span><span style="font-size: small; text-align: -webkit-auto;"> Pretty cool, eh?<br /><br />4. Ok. One more thing for this evening and THEN I promise to give you a moment to absorb all of this.....<br /></span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg9VrRenXSblOgnjX3vEUQIk3SN3sWwJF9tZFQww3ooAs3UI1lQfTOqf3zluqHrBpQtpaXy7Hchu9-XzKLSkEi2TVZ6ma7JkLcEvy7yzTQNqyDUrUy0bclDAOVMP9rbeA-AfmKiYcYJfkQ/s1600/320357_10152168556450061_1331082469_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="font-size: medium; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg9VrRenXSblOgnjX3vEUQIk3SN3sWwJF9tZFQww3ooAs3UI1lQfTOqf3zluqHrBpQtpaXy7Hchu9-XzKLSkEi2TVZ6ma7JkLcEvy7yzTQNqyDUrUy0bclDAOVMP9rbeA-AfmKiYcYJfkQ/s640/320357_10152168556450061_1331082469_n.jpg" width="588" /></a><br /><br /><br /><span style="font-size: small; text-align: -webkit-auto;">This watch MUST have been designed by an Italian or a Greek. It made me smile when I saw it. I have added it to my very short wish list of totally unnecessary material possessions that it would bring me great pleasure to own since my own watch is heading towards its last days on this planet.<br /><br />That's all from me tonight, friends! Hope you're all having a great week, and just in-case I do not get around to writing again this weekend, I wish all of you residing north of the Canadian-US border a happy Canadian Thanksgiving!</span></td></tr>
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RoutesofPresencehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05029550244131198099noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1139222350120119404.post-52656789364525996182012-07-26T02:39:00.000-07:002012-07-26T02:42:48.433-07:00Joy can't hide here<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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It is Wednesday night, early, early Thursday morning. I should be asleep, but when do I ever do what I should be doing? Tell me, friends, when?<br />
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This evening after I finished work I went for a long walk along the boardwalk that runs along part of the bay skirts Charlottetown, the capitol city of Prince Edward Island. It was a beautiful evening. The kind of evening that pulls you like some gravitational force out of your house to immerse yourself fully in the wash of its golden rays. I walked along the boardwalk slowly, feeling the breeze blow through the combs of my splayed fingers; listening to it play through the thick canopy of maples at the end of the boardwalk and watching it press the ocean into millions of tiny ripples of light and shadow lapping up against the boulders that are piled up as a breakwater along the boardwalk. The sky was clear blue. The ocean deep, inky blue, and the grass that sharp ripe green of mid-summer. Out in the bay at least twenty white mesmerizing sails swirled in the wind.<br />
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When I reached the opposite end of the boardwalk I turned around and started back, this time slipping off my sandals and rolling up my pant legs so that I could leap along from boulder to boulder, the sound of the ocean licking stone to my right. When I was a child I has a special place called "my rocks." It may be that everything is "my ______" when you are an only child, but these rocks were special. They were sculpted and carved out by volcanic activity and the relentless surge and fall of the Mediterranean, leaving an interesting landscape that to most people was just a rocky shoreline, but to me was "my house." My house had a bedroom and bathroom, kitchen (complete with salt water basin) and even a staircase leading up to my private quarters from the living room. I would enter my house and go straight upstairs to "my special room," a section of the rocky shoreline that was sculpted out hollow leaving a basin of stone into which I could curl like a fetus. From my bowl room I could peer out over the lip of stone and down to the waves below which would, on windy days, crash with a fury and recklessness that I loved, sending spray up into the air that would drift over me, leaving a salty mist on my lips and in my hair, and even leaving rings of dried salt crystals in the indentations around me that I would scratch at with my fingernails and dissolve on my tongue. I loved this little rock bowl, and would visit it often, sitting for long periods of time just listening to the ocean and often whispering Baha'i prayers into the wind. When I return home now I always visit "my rocks" at least once. I still crouch down into my stone bowl, but it is a lot smaller that it once was -- my body having grown to fill its curved walls. Still....I sit and listen to the ocean, and people pass by and probably wonder why a grown woman is crouching in a rock cavity staring out to sea . Of course it is the little girl with her head full of dreams, hopes, fears and the calming rhythmic lull of waves that is curled into that stone--the child that lives on in each one of us at some level). There is always a story, and a trigger that brings it back. Like the leaping from boulder to boulder today. The texture of sandstone beneath my feet. The sound of waves breaking. And the smell of salt that is synonymous with home.<br />
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I walked the rest of the way home barefoot with my jeans rolled up and an awareness of how odd it must seem to those passing me on the boardwalk to see a woman with a strand of pearls around her neck and and dressed for work wandering along a boardwalk barefoot. The world seems to have certain expectations of us as adults -- the expectation that we will have grown out of certain ways of being, doing, and maybe even thinking. That a grown woman will not suddenly break out with a cartwheel or backflip in the middle of a beach or strip of inviting grass, for example. Or leap from boulder to boulder barefoot in her good clothes and pearls. It makes me smile because when I am out there on those boulders I am the boulders. I am the wind. There is no woman. I vanish and all that I am aware of is the elements of place. There are no pearls or makeup or hairdos. Just the air and salt water and that saturated, blinding golden sunshine.<br />
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I love that there is no line between me and the natural world. That I feel its wildness in my bones. That when I was out there yesterday boulder hopping I was thinking not of work or bills or to do lists or life goals, but about how it might feel to be one of those graceful white sails being filled with and harnessing the power of wind or a seagull soaring on wind currents high above my head. And as I think these things I wonder when and where (and why) we get such hemmed in expectations of what it means to be adults when in reality releasing the wild that lives inside --the wild that reflects that freedom of expression that is the natural world--is such an ageless expression of beauty and joy. <br />
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I came home and climbed the stairs feeling a deep contentment in my heart and body. A few years ago a dear friend sang at an academic conference that I attended here in Charlottetown. She stood up and sang in the middle of an academic conference. It blew my mind to watch her reclaim and express the joy she finds in poetry and song in the middle of this conference that although not openly stated, was so full of expectations about the right ways to communicate with the audience. She only sang one line -- "Joy can't hide here -- and why would it want to?" which she repeated over and over, pausing in between to let it sink in. Indeed, I thought. Why would joy want to hide? <br />
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Over the past few years I have been seeking out that joy in my life. Finding ways of giving it permission to reclaim its rightful place in my life. Yesterday evening returning home into my sun lit apartment I was deeply aware not only of the tremendous abundance that I have in my life -- abundance of friendship, abundance of the lush, wild beauty of the natural world, of fresh food, of love.....but also of the ever-constant presence of joy in my life these days. The conscious awareness of it not hiding but standing contentedly in the patch of sunlight in the middle of my living room floor.<br />
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And you, friends? Is your joy hiding? Or have you found ways of giving it permission to emerge and inhabit its natural home front and centre in the heart of living? <br />
<br />RoutesofPresencehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05029550244131198099noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1139222350120119404.post-78347200568562970832012-07-12T17:38:00.002-07:002012-07-12T17:38:58.357-07:00A new home<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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I still do not have my curtains up, but it is beginning, slowly, to feel like home. Since moving into my new apartment life has been non-stop, full-on--it has been as life should be--full of the experience of living. I have had little time for writing lately. When I come home I manage to get a few more things organized, sometimes a bath, and then promptly pass out in my makeshift bed which is composed of a sleeping bag and two thin pieces of foam on the floor. Still....with a good deal of effort, lots of contributions from friends and the arrival of a suitcase of my belongings from California my space is starting to turn into something resembling a space that I can inhabit instead of a dumping ground. While my dear friend Ahava was on the island this past week she helped me gather some essentials and put together a small set of shelves to get my clothes off the floor (WHAT a brilliant idea!). She also gave me a beautiful painting which I will write about another time because it warrants its own blog entry.<br />
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I live in the heart of downtown Charlottetown. With all my windows propped open as they are now I hear the throb of the city in summer: live music, stragglers heading either to or from one of the city's many bars, the sound of motorcycles speeding by, wind in the trees, cars, and this evening some rather live recorded music coming from God only knows where. It is loud downtown--something I have not yet gotten accustomed to. The noise keeps me awake at night. And yet I love the convenience of being so close to everything. Being able to sit, as I did this evening, on Victoria Row -- a pedestrian only street -- and have a cool drink while I listen to live music and read my novel, and then stroll leisurely the one block home in five minutes. Yup. There are definitely advantages to being downtown.<br />
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I have been in so many spaces since arriving back on the island that it is hard to settle down and allow myself to nest. Part of me keeps expecting this space to be gone soon too. But this evening as I sit here watching the last of the light fade I am trying to let myself dream into this new space and life. To absorb all the change and consider my surroundings. Dogs bark. More cars. The recorded music that, if it does not get turned off soon is going to keep me awake yet again. The fading lilac and rose from the sunset. The deep blue sea of the sky. It is time to wander down to the basement that has a sign on it "enter at your own risk" and unload my last load of laundry before I collapse into bed.<br />
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Hoping you are all well! Greetings from the heart of summer on Prince Edward Island.RoutesofPresencehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05029550244131198099noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1139222350120119404.post-77747824587132836692012-06-18T17:56:00.000-07:002012-06-18T17:56:10.877-07:00Apricots taste like sunshineThis evening is a list kind of evening, if you know what I mean. But it is also a gratitude Monday, so here's what I am feeling grateful for today. Add your list below if you feel like sharing!<br />
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1. The fact that I am currently lying on my bed barefoot with a lovely breeze blowing over me after a lovely, relaxing bath.<br />
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2. My parents. I am feeling very grateful for their love, support, and continued presence in my life.<br />
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3. The fact that my parents are sweet enough that they will forgive the fact that they are number two, after my bath ;-)<br />
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4. Prince Edward Island. The sunshine. The rain. The snow. The gorgeous flowering bushes that are all over Charlottetown. The beautiful snaking salt/fresh water rivers that meander inland along the green banks and red beaches. The people who are endlessly kind and generous. The rich culture, amazing visual artists and musicians. The stunning sunsets. The dunes. The red soil that is so rich. The farmland that I hope to farm again some day. The farmer's markets. The windmills. The lighthouses scattered along headlands. The blue herons. The eagles. The foxes. The frogs in ditches that sing on summer evenings. And so much more.<br />
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5. Chilled apricots on warm summer evenings that taste like sunshine.<br />
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6. My flatmate Minnie who is an incredible cook and baker, tells the best stories, loans me her baking sheets and ignores every bit of advice I ever give her, and rightly so since she is in her 80s and I have no business giving an 80 year old any advice whatsoever anyway.<br />
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7. My prayer book, and the waking up early yesterday to drive out to the country, climb a hill and say morning prayers with my dear friend Honeylyn for our parents.<br />
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8. The breakfast that Honeylyn and I had together looking out at the river in New Glasgow after our morning prayers yesterday.<br />
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9. All the amazing people that have stepped forward to donate random bits and pieces for my new tiny apartment downtown that I move into this coming weekend.<br />
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10. Sunshine. Pure and simple.<br />
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11. Ann and Stephen--because they are family, they have been there for me through thick and through thin, and are still standing to tell the tale, and no matter what I write in this blog at least one of them always takes the time to read it, which really is quite miraculous.<br />
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12. My friend Louise. Because she doesn't actually have to communicate using words to convey either her love or her absolute disproval. And because she not only reads my blog -- she also expects me to read hers, and rightly so.<br />
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13. The computer that I am typing this blog entry on-- with functional buttons and screen and all.<br />
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14. The fact that I am going to bed before midnight tonight no matter what.<br />
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15. Alanna and Sonjel. For recognizing that the best birthday gift would be a rental car so I could get out to the countryside that I love so for a day. And just for being so much fun.<br />
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16. The fact that I am learning when to stop, as I am going to do right now.<br />
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Sweet dreams friends! <br />
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<br />RoutesofPresencehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05029550244131198099noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1139222350120119404.post-88480966087205936762012-06-13T19:08:00.000-07:002012-06-13T19:08:05.503-07:00Rubber ducky & the perfume of lilacs<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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This evening I came home from work, took a lovely hot bath, lathered up with body lotion, slipped into a sun dress and headed out with purpose for a poetry reading that I thought was happening at the university this evening. I was running kind of late, having taken my time in the bath and then relaxing in the rays that fell across my bedroom floor with the novel that I was determined to finish this evening (The Secret Daughter), so I practically sprinted from the apartment that I live in to the university, arriving short of breath and all sweaty. I rushed up to the faculty lounge and peered in through the door to make sure I would disturb people by coming in late. What I saw through the doors was a room full of chairs. No people. No poets....I got my phone out and checked the Facebook invite again, and indeed the reading is tomorrow evening, not tonight. I stood still for a few moments, trying to figure out how to let the friend who was going to meet me at the end of the event after her statistics class know why I was not there. I scrolled her a note on a piece of scrap paper and headed back out into the evening sunshine, feeling rather silly for not having read more carefully. I have been tired a lot lately. Not just tired -- way over tired, which probably accounts of misreading the date. I was walking across campus beating myself up for all this walking when I was already tired and could have used an evening of taking it easy when I suddenly heard this croaking sound emanating from my purse. Quack, quack, quack. Quack, quack, quack. I stared down at my purse, completely taken off guard, before realizing that I had forgotten to give my friends who I was house-sitting for last week back their keys that they had put on a bright rubber ducky keychain that actually quacks. Standing there in the early evening sunshine with my sore feet and tired eyes and with the walk back home ahead of me I started giggling, then laughing out loud. It felt like the universe was inviting me to laugh at the day. To let go of my frustration and to completely embrace and enjoy what was left of my day.<br />
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On my walk back home I took my time. I did not rush. I was not in a hurry. I took in the blue blue sky. The gorgeous flowering bushes. The bright green lawns. The little house with the glassed in front porch common in Atlantic Canada that is on my route that has been for sale for a few months now and had a SOLD sign out front today. I listened to the birds singing their evening songs. And I just relaxed. It felt divine after all the racing around that I do on a daily basis to just take it easy for a little while.<br />
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Yesterday when I got home from work it was again a gloriously sunny day. My flatmate Minnie, an elderly woman in her 80s was out on the deck enjoying a tea party with two friends. I joined them briefly, taking in the old teapot, the delicate old fashioned teacups, the home-baked cookies and tarts, the pitcher of milk and silver spoons for stirring in the milk and sugar. The sun was golden, and everything just seemed to glow with warm light. It felt like I was awake in the middle of a really, really good dream! I came into my bedroom, grabbed the pillows off my bed and settled down in a patch of sunlight that streaked across the carpet and up the wall with my novel. Heaven. It was pure heaven.<br />
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Today I am grateful for the rubber ducky keychain that quacks. The glorious golden sunshine that falls down through the full leafy canopy of trees and lilac bushes heavy with blossom and heady perfume. I am incredibly grateful for my new job at a time when so many are losing theirs. I am grateful for the fact that I live in such a beautiful spot. For my new apartment that I will be moving into next weekend. For my parents who are incredibly supportive of everything I do. For a bed upon which to rest my tired limbs every night. For the delicious salad I made for supper with locally grown greens. For being able to kick my shoes off of my mosquito bitten swollen feet and feel the cool evening breeze blow over them now as I type. For baths -- morning, afternoon or evening. For my dear friend Rafael who I just found out is getting married at the end of the summer and starting a family of her own. And for the stars that are shining brightly outside and reminding me of a new friend who is a fellow star-gazer. I am also grateful for my prayer book that is gazing steadily at me from across the room urging me in that quiet yet persistent manner that prayer books have to pick her up and say some prayers before my eyes close tonight.<br />
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And you, friends? What are you grateful for today?RoutesofPresencehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05029550244131198099noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1139222350120119404.post-17628067988126438292012-06-06T15:14:00.000-07:002012-06-06T15:14:21.740-07:00It is Wednesday evening. I am sitting by the fireplace listening to trees moving in the wind outside and the gentle pattern of misty rain on lush foliage. I am house sitting for the night for two of my closest friends. They live in one of the older neighbourhoods in Charlottetown, on Prince Edward Island, called Victoria Park. I love being in their home for a number of reasons. It is peaceful. They have a fireplace and I simply love to sit by it and read/write. They have a dog named Calypso that I absolutely adore who is currently curled up on her bed beside me enjoying the warmth of the fire after a rather good supper served by yours truly. It appears I am becoming a dog person of sorts. I have been walking Chloe, a 13 year old Shih tzu, daily, for over three months now. And I dog sit Caly whenever my friends Ann and Stephen are out of town. Who would have thought that I would ever call myself a dog person? Just goes to show that people do change.<br />
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Last night I was sitting at the Baha'i Nineteen Day Feast listening to members of the community read from the holy writings. Sitting in this incredibly beautiful space that I helped create with a room full of people who I love deeply, from the bottom of my heart, I found myself feeling the deepest, most complete sensation of happiness and contentment. I love it here. I love my community. I love the land and sea. There is so much about this place that brings me joy that even the cold rainy weather in June has not got me down.<br />
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This evening my dear friend Louise and I took a walk with her dog Daphne and Calypso. We walked along the boardwalk that runs along the shoreline and looks out across the Charlottetown harbour and up the mouth of the river. This misty rain had the effect of shrouding the headland in the distance in a translucent, dreamlike blur. Blue herons waded the shoreline, their dark bodies, elegant necks and long legs graceful against the dark surface of the water and the grey blur of rain and sky. We walked and talked and walked some more. I love walking with Louise. She is an incredibly talented landscape painter and I find she always makes me see my surroundings and my inner landscape far more clearly than I might if I were walking the same path alone.<br />
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It is good to be sitting by the fire writing. It is good to be home. Inside and out. It is good to be on this island, living among friends.RoutesofPresencehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05029550244131198099noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1139222350120119404.post-19817324979919676162012-05-14T16:33:00.000-07:002012-05-14T16:33:45.789-07:00Poppies, red raspberries & dreamsIt is gratitude Monday, and this is what I am grateful for today.<br />
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1. My Spring view today in downtown Charlottetown while I walked the dog...<br />
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You know....instead of this<br />
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2. Friends that walk all the way across town to meet me for supper before turning around and going all the way back across town for an evening class.<br />
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3. The delicious meals I have had today, made using local beef, local potatoes, local carrots, and so much more. It is wonderful to live somewhere that has such a bountiful harvest. <br />
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4. Home made raspberry jam and almond butter on gluten free bread. Read: take raspberries, put them in a saucepan, turn the heat on, melt them down into liquid, spread thickly over almond butter while still warm. This is what it looks like when done:<br />
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Ok so I nibbled. YOU try not taking a bite of something that looks that good. I dare you. ;-)<br />
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4. My mother. It being mother's day on Sunday and my being so far away from her and all....She is a pretty awesome lady. I don't know how I would have gotten this far without her.<br />
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5. Public buses. Because I have had a pinched nerve in my leg/foot all weekend and have had a numb right foot and calf, which makes walking rather tiring. I especially love public buses here, and the way the drivers know every single one of their passengers, and wait when someone they know should be on the bus is not there.<br />
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6. Hot baths. Because after taking one everything that seemed just too much to tackle somehow seems doable again.<br />
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7. Friends who invite me to house sit as I will be doing for the second half of this week. I cannot wait to be in a home all by myself for a few days.<br />
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8. My work. Because even when it is tough and overwhelming, as it is right now, it is never boring. I am always learning something new, and being challenged to improve my skills to better represent and promote my clients and their products/services.<br />
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9. My bed. You got it. The only thing between me and it right now is my computer. Time to sign off!<br />
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And you, friends? What are you grateful for on this Spring Monday? RoutesofPresencehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05029550244131198099noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1139222350120119404.post-58420263627157251012012-05-09T16:34:00.000-07:002012-05-09T16:34:01.728-07:00Rainy Wednesday ramblingsThis morning I attended a press conference at which the winner of PEI Burger Love was announced. PEI Burger Love is an annual event that is a month long in which any local restaurant that would like to participate creates a burger using local beef. Diners get to visit all participating locations, enjoy one of the creations, and vote for their favourite burger. PEI's most loved burger for 2012 is called the Goddess--a Mediterranean inspired burger that will remain on the Papa Joe's menu now for a while -- maybe a year?<br />
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Being a social media content manager is an interesting job. My work varies from being out in fields in rubber boots taking photographs of farmers harvesting the first Rhubarb of the season to sitting in a press conference next to the Minister of Agriculture, as I was today. I love the diversity of activities when I am telling the story of place, land and people. I have yet to see how I feel about social media work that does not involve agriculture or food. Stay tuned. I am sure I will have more to say about that soon!<br />
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It was pouring today. Buckets and buckets of rain. I had to dry myself off with a paper towel before entering the press conference as unlike most of my peers, I walked to the event this morning. Nothing like being drenched for keeping up professional appearances. After the press conference I walked back downtown, updated Facebook & Twitter on my computer instead of a device that thus far drives me crazy (HOW many times do I have to hit a letter before I actually SEE that letter instead of the one next to it? I miss old school buttons on phones), and then dashed around the corner to a little Thai restaurant where one of my best friends and I shared a bowl of coconut, shrimp and mushroom soup with sticky rice while we watched the rain falling endlessly outside.<br />
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This afternoon I re-settled at Starbucks. I usually avoid chains, but whenever I feel like being anonymous, or just seeing people I would not ordinarily ever see I go to Starbucks. I find it interesting that the people who frequent Starbucks are such a different crowd from those who go to the Farmer's market, Leonhard's or Young Folk & the Kettle Black -- my favourite hangouts. I guess it would make sense that people who like chains would not be the same people who support local establishments, but I still find it amazing what a steady stream of customers flowed through Starbucks this afternoon while I was working.<br />
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This evening I took the bus home. It was still raining and I was damp and cold, and not up for more trudging through puddles with my wet shoes and socks. I am not complaining -- it is where I am at -- but it often feels these days like I am running a marathon every day just to barely keep up with those around me who are doing almost the same thing I am. I know it is just a phase--not having officially started my new job yet, and not having my own apartment or transportation yet just means a lot of my day is spent walking or seeing things that would make life easier but that I cannot really afford yet. I am learning to be patient, and to be my own cheerleader. I have started singing while I walk. And praying. Today I sang "It's gonna be a bright, bright sunshiny day!" It didn't make me any less wet, but it did keep me moving forward at lightening speed....ok so the rain contributed to my pace, but the singing definitely helped!<br />
<br />It is almost 8.30pm. I am signing out. Working in social media means I live on the computer. While I love what I do, I do not love being on a computer this much, and it takes a lot of effort to convince myself to blog at the end of a long day of posting and monitoring numbers for my clients. But for today I have turned up, and been present with you, readers. And now I am going to go be present with myself for a little while before sleep. Wherever you are in the world, I hope you are having a lovely day. Thank you for reading!RoutesofPresencehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05029550244131198099noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1139222350120119404.post-52704357461613652752012-05-07T17:44:00.000-07:002012-05-07T17:44:07.457-07:00Springtime on the islandIt has been too long since I last wrote. Way. Too. Long. It is one thing to write when writing is all you are doing really. It is another thing to learn how to balance writing with the rest of life's responsibilities. Today started off drizzly. Grey. Moist air dampened my coat as I walked downtown this morning. But by this afternoon, after a long day of work, the sun had come out and the sky was that lovely clear blue vault that you dream of in the heart of winter. A friend came to meet me after work and we went and sat on a bench in the sunshine and talked. Above us a tree still bare of leaves was covered with the first swollen nodes of buds. We sat there for about an hour. Recounting our days. Laughing. Wishing out loud that our favourite Asian restaurant was open as it would have been the perfect way to end the day. Sharing our struggles. Closing our eyes and turning our faces up to the sun to soak up its golden rays. Contemplating going to a movie that it turned out was no longer showing. And just sitting silently. Eventually the wind started cooling off so we collected our many bags and started off for home, taking the Confederation trail so we could enjoy birdcall instead of exhaust fumes, and then climbing up over the green grassy hill of the Experimental Farm, skirting the lily pond to see whether the lilies have begun blossoming (they haven't), and finally parting ways as my friend settled in for a relaxing evening at home and I continued my walk home along the long, cracked pavement, past That's Entertainment video store, past the funeral home, past the house with the long driveway shrouded with trees, past the pharmacy, the five way intersection, the gas station, the other gas station and the fire station. Punching in the door code to the apartment building I am currently living in, I climbed the stairs feeling heavy and tired, dropped my stuff on the kitchen floor, and cooked supper in the warm sunlight that was pouring in the living room window and making white light dance across the ceiling in geometric shapes. I sat and ate supper on the only kitchen stood in the house and listened to my house mate Minnie (who is in her 80s) tell me stories of when there were no roads or snow plows. When it took all day to drive the horse-drawn buggy the 15 mile journey to the nearest town (Montague) for supplies. How children did not go to school in the Spring or Fall because the unpaved clay roads would turn to mud that was impassable. I thought: I would have liked to live at a time when there were no cars and we got from place to place by horse. I shared this thought with Minnie, thinking she would shake her head and tell me that it wasn't nearly as romantic as I imagine it to be. She doesn't -- only smiles and nods -- agreeing that it was a magical way to get around despite taking so much longer. She tells me about planting potatoes by hand, leaving a row in between for the soil to be turned back over the parallel row, keep the potatoes from getting sunburn. Buckets, she says. We did not have baskets. Just buckets. Ten acres with a bucket. Can you imagine? she asks me. It took forever. I can imagine. Being dog tired at the end of the day, dragging yourself inside for a short, exhausted but contented sleep before getting up to do it all again.<br />
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Minnie is asleep now. I can hear her breathing in the next room. Outside the sky is crisp and clear, the stars are bright. I am looking forward to my book. To sleep. To getting up and doing it all over again.RoutesofPresencehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05029550244131198099noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1139222350120119404.post-37963104138522213682012-04-30T20:10:00.000-07:002012-04-30T20:11:54.579-07:00Lobsters & gratitudeIt is late Monday night, almost Tuesday morning. In six hours my alarm will go off, drawing me into another full day. Life has been rather insane lately, but it has also been well-lived. Every moment of my day is filled...so much so that I find myself yearning for time to rest or sit in silence and read a good book. Sometimes the speed at which my life is moving feels like a bit much. But then I look around me and realize that I am only feeling run off my feet because doors are opening. Many doors. And some windows too! I would not be awake this late if I had come straight home this evening. But one of my closest friends turned up downtown to surprise me after work, and asked me to join her for supper, so I got home later than I had planned. I also had a superb supper with a good friend filled with laughter, and a lovely walk home in excellent company, which put me in a much better space to get a lot of work done tonight, which I did. So I will get less sleep tonight. After two years of too much sleep and too little work, in a way this experience is refreshing.<br />
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I am feeling grateful for a hell of a lot today, but here's my abbreviated gratitude list for today:<br />
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1. My friend Honeylyn, who turns up for me and makes me smile and laugh out loud on a regular basis.<br />
2. My work, which, despite being a non-stop barrage of work, is nevertheless exceptionally awesome.<br />
3. Lobsters. Because the season starts tomorrow, and because I get to go pick up the first lobsters of the season on Wednesday with a fisherman straight from the wharf.<br />
4. Chloe, the dog I walk, who is a constant source of amusement and fun.<br />
5. Good coffee shops, and great people to share them with.<br />
6. Free internet connections. Because I am rarely home. And because I am going through a cheap phase.<br />
7. A warm coat. Because it was bloody cold today despite being the end of April.<br />
8. The public library. Because I do not own a television, and books are my epic adventure every night before I fall asleep.<br />
9. Hot showers, warm beds, and late night bowls of gluten free maple nut cereal. Just because.<br />
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And with that, I wish you a great Tuesday, friends!RoutesofPresencehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05029550244131198099noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1139222350120119404.post-3535473571680445352012-04-24T16:00:00.000-07:002012-04-24T16:04:43.164-07:00Change. Here it comes, ready or notIf I am to go on my life of the last week, it seems that the saying it never just rains, it pours, may in fact be true. Today it was pouring for hours. After making it downtown, I cocooned myself into one of the local coffee shops and stayed put until the rain let up enough for me to walk home. I have been thinking a lot about change today -- for a number of reasons. First because so much of my life right now feels completely out of my control, and the next few months, no matter what happens, are guaranteed to bring even more change into my world. Second because I have been thinking a lot about one of my best friends today who is battling lung cancer at age 34 and I am struggling with the idea of her suffering on the opposite side of the world and my not being able to be there, even though she is a battle axe, and I know she intends to fight this with everything she has got. I have also been thinking about my mother this week -- possibly because of the woman I met the other day who seemed to be so fragile, who turned out to be five years younger than my mom. It gets you thinking, you know? And then I came home this evening, and sat down to write this blog entry, and was told that Blogger is updating the look of my blog. It will have a new format. One I did not ask for, nor do I particularly want. I like my blog the way it is, dammit! But there it is nevertheless. Change staring me in the face whether I like it or not. <br />
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Change is constant. It is as necessary as the annual cycle of seasons renewing the landscape. It is exciting in ways. It is also painful. In my faith's writings it says that pain is a blessing. That the more pain we experience, the more opportunities we have to grow in new directions. I believe this wholeheartedly.<br />
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My friend Ahava, who has a radio show every Monday afternoon called Love in the Afternoon was speaking about Paradox this week, and it is interesting to me that my life this last week has been so full of paradox. Or perhaps I have just been more aware of the paradoxes because she called my attention to them.<br />
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I struggle with not having a home right now, and yet in reality I am absolutely certain that this time of homelessness will only make the experience of having a home, when this happens, so much sweeter. I have been struggling with blogging this past week. Because this blog is so public, and so much of what I am experiencing right now -- my thoughts and reflections -- are so personal. It is hard to share the experiences I am going through right now without having people judge or misinterpret where I am coming from. Think, for example, that I am unhappy or ungrateful, when in reality I am perfectly content in the most profound way right now despite all of the spiritual and physical challenges.<br />
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Writing is all about having the courage to share experience or perception even when I know people may not understand, or may misunderstand or misinterpret what I am trying to say. It is about reflecting the world around me and the experience of being human, so much of which is the experience of willingly allowing the world to grind away all of the rough edges of the self--a process beautiful and joyful and deeply painful all at once.<br />
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The rain clouds have cleared just in time for the sunset. The room I am writing in is suddenly flooded with the last warm light of the day. Tomorrow calls for more rain. I am amused by the way in which the constantly, and unpredictably fluctuating weather patterns are almost a perfect mirror image of my life right now. Or, more likely, my life is a mirror image of the pressure systems moving across the sky. <br />
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It is interesting the lengths to which the universe will go to help us grow, isn't it? This evening I am quite certain that all the external turmoil in my own life and in the world has one purpose: to help me, and the rest of humanity focus on the one thing that is stable and consistent-- our relationship with God and our spiritual growth. Because I have never been one to learn the easy way I am not sure I would be as focused on the internal stillness if it were not for the constant churning and renewal of the world around me.RoutesofPresencehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05029550244131198099noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1139222350120119404.post-25703057336099919072012-04-19T17:07:00.000-07:002012-04-19T17:07:04.085-07:00Trusting uncertaintyIt is Thursday evening. The last light of the day is filtering in my bedroom window as I write. It was a beautiful clear blue sky and sunshine day despite the cold wind that blew and blew. It is Springtime on Prince Edward island, and Spring here comes real slow, with a couple of warmer days to tease us out of our winter wardrobes before more rain, frozen rain and snow move in to remind us where we are.<br />
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This morning I walked downtown to walk a dog that I care for, taking in the details around me: birds singing on electricity wires; piles of old furniture stacked out front from a Spring clean; the green grass pressing up around the leaning, eroded gravestones in the old cemetery I walk past every day; the tiniest of flowers testing the waters before they unfurl fully into daylight; the guy dressed from head to toe in a bright red maple leaf outfit standing outside the income tax services business waving at cars as they drive by and making us all feel deeply grateful for our jobs and professions -- whatever they may be.<br />
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This past week the reality of my choices over the last few weeks have been slowly sinking in. I often lie in bed at night listening to the wind or just looking around me at the empty room that I currently inhabit and feeling an odd mixture of certainty and relief and joy and fear. It is hard to feel certainty when so much is still uncertain. Certainty that I am in the right place when I will not know for at least three more weeks whether immigration will approve my papers and give me a work visa. How do you feel certain about something when you are completely at the mercy of powers that you have no control over whatsoever? I don't have an answer to that. My only certainty is that I am happy. Fear also rises up on and off -- fear that if my papers are approved I am out in the vast world again with no security net beneath my feet. That I have to somehow manage to find a new apartment and move my life yet again in the next couple of months. That while it feels good to be out on my own again, my parents are now thousands of miles away, and that if I remain here I will not be seeing them very often, which is harder as they get older. And that if things, for whatever reason, do not work out, I have no plan B. My fears makes me realize that maybe security is another of life's illusions. <br />
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This evening after walking Chloe for the second time today I stopped by the home of some friends who live downtown. They recently moved into a new home, started new jobs, and are experiencing a lot of the same questions and uncertainties that I am, despite being Canadian. We sat and had tea together and got caught up on how everyone was surviving, and it made me realize that uncertainty runs through everyone's life -- single or married, Canadian or American or Asian or African, employed or not.....<br />
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My flatmate is snoring, as she does most nights. It is something that ordinarily would drive me crazy, but over the past few weeks has become reassuring -- a reminder that there is someone else right on the the other side of the wall who is just as human and living with just as many questions and just as much uncertainty as I am, in her own way. I don't know why that is reassuring right now, but it is.<br />
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I feel as though I am standing on the edge of another rather steep cliff, thinking I am ready to fly, but not sure if God agrees. There is some guidance, given by Shoghi Effendi to someone trying to make a difficult decision. One of the steps that he recommends is that the person trying to make the decision act as if it (whatever it is that the person wanted or was aiming for) has already been accomplished. I remind myself of this quote often these days as I transfer my Baha'i membership back to Canada and consider having my belongings shipped over to Canada so I have more than the contents of the one suitcase that I brought with me when I came in December, thinking I would only be staying two weeks, and that I am still living out of today. It takes courage to make plans and decisions knowing very well that the rug could be pulled out from under me any day, but standing still seems fruitless, so I continue to walk forward, trying to have faith in the process.<br />
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This evening I was thinking about what will happen if my paperwork is not approved. Having this thought, which I have repeatedly throughout the day every day, made me realize that while it seems like the end of the world, whatever happens is what God intends to happen, and that if I can learn to truly believe this, all the anxiety that I am experiencing would be gone. Another opportunity to practice faith and trust in God.<br />
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It is dark now. Time for a my novel, some quiet time, and a night full of dreams. And you, friends? How do you practice trust in God when life is full and overflowing with uncertainties? RoutesofPresencehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05029550244131198099noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1139222350120119404.post-7158631358933143932012-04-16T19:42:00.000-07:002012-04-16T19:42:13.427-07:00Why I will probably never know the woes and sufferings of the destitute<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhvKGO_aevTocojqEwghkgDrkfLFuC7MsagxZenc1sf80NLF6q9svqZOLJcHmdcslklaMwlcaKlVR31EEAdFoT7CMH1WdGOcgnldxnJHsCTNT8OWJs6GdQlLj1ysHQbWILX6KwwEh5J21E/s1600/DSC00648.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="480" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhvKGO_aevTocojqEwghkgDrkfLFuC7MsagxZenc1sf80NLF6q9svqZOLJcHmdcslklaMwlcaKlVR31EEAdFoT7CMH1WdGOcgnldxnJHsCTNT8OWJs6GdQlLj1ysHQbWILX6KwwEh5J21E/s640/DSC00648.JPG" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">(c) Ariana Salvo. May not be used without permission</td></tr>
</tbody></table>I have been realizing this week that no matter how little I have in the way of financial resources, I will never, unless some major catastrophe hits my entire network of friends and family scattered across the globe, experience the physical hardship of poverty. When I say this I mean that kind of poverty that the majority of the global population lives with every single day. The kind that results in homelessness and starvation.<br />
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The reason that I will likely never experience poverty has nothing to do with me. It has to do with where I happen, by chance, to have been born, and with my incredible family and friends who would never allow me to be homeless or go hungry. Which has had me considering the idea that poverty may not be a symptom of a lack of financial resources, but rather an indication that our global family may actually be experiencing a lack of love. Because if we really, truly loved one-another the way my friends and family love me, we would simply not allow them to be homeless and hungry. That's what I'm thinking.<br />
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I have a number of new mantras. One is THE UNIVERSE IS ABUNDANT. I repeat this to myself often throughout my day and week, especially when I am operating on a shoestring and am hungry or tired or just wishing that one of the vehicles that speeds by me as I walk home at the end of the day would pull over and offer me a ride. Repeating this does not immediately change my circumstances, but it does make me reflect on all the good in my life, and focusing on what is truly awesome somehow makes the awesome expand. I guess it is the idea that whatever you focus your attention on will grow, so if you focus on abundance, you will attract more and more abundance in your life.<br />
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I find that not only do I attract abundance when I think this way....I also notice myself doing things for other people to help add to their share of abundance: holding doors open for elderly people, giving someone a compliment, smiling at strangers, making my friends laugh, baking muffins and sharing them with my flatmate, giving someone who needs one a hug or saying a healing prayer for someone in need. Abundance need not be big things. Often it is small details or gestures or words that completely reorient a day.<br />
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This evening a friend treated me to supper. I had not eaten since breakfast and was very hungry. This same friend then accompanied me while I walked a dog that I am caring for, and then walked home with me, inviting me in when we reached her home for a cup of tea and a break before I continued on my walk home. Having her company all afternoon added so much joy to my day. This afternoon another friend gave me a ride back downtown so I did not have to walk, saving me some valuable energy. My mother sends me notes on Facebook and Gmail expressing her love and sharing her news, which not only makes me feel valued, but also makes her feel a little bit closer despite the vast geographic distance that is now between us.<br />
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Abundance is a choice -- one that is easily overlooked when we get caught up in the hectic pace and details of life. Love is also a choice. One that I find tends to blossom out of a life of abundance. Wherever you are, and whatever your circumstances, try taking the time today to recognize all of the abundance in your life and to share some of it with those around you. What do you notice?RoutesofPresencehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05029550244131198099noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1139222350120119404.post-64299547588486403852012-04-11T19:25:00.000-07:002012-04-11T19:25:06.361-07:00A picture's worth a thousand words<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEizCuneXwox5oPxPThg5QmSLrvjcS_NFphIbVYSEMv2oA_PycoIhbUa4jZRdsdrF0ZQaBQRvAIeBh1E3KF4Gv8MkO1rkTg4yFKSWHeNdQH8lm7osi5RWws-wNLZfhPivOZnaZlt21SUjE4/s1600/DSC00634.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEizCuneXwox5oPxPThg5QmSLrvjcS_NFphIbVYSEMv2oA_PycoIhbUa4jZRdsdrF0ZQaBQRvAIeBh1E3KF4Gv8MkO1rkTg4yFKSWHeNdQH8lm7osi5RWws-wNLZfhPivOZnaZlt21SUjE4/s640/DSC00634.JPG" width="480" /></a></div><br />
I have seen a tremendous amount of beauty in the last week. Walking through a snowstorm can be rough on the eyes, but being out there with the snow blowing every which way on the day that I took the photo above made me wonder why I don't go out in snowstorms more often. It is such a different experience when I am standing in the middle of the whirling snow than it is from behind a pane of glass. It is beautiful, but in a raw, humbling way. The distinction between my body and the air around me feel porous somehow standing out there exposed to the elements.<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi0DV9XA1687KNbrYouhQG8OJyvK-zjIeUUZVhINKX6eBwqTs4Dn8CmJM1bt9hfiqqwouCfehjGdyqg6yOCeLXxlSF6YjLUTtJkWBoLdC3nA4b3Dl-YvwEcQ_FzT6RFjq3o7E3Q6cTVI54/s1600/DSC00638.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="480" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi0DV9XA1687KNbrYouhQG8OJyvK-zjIeUUZVhINKX6eBwqTs4Dn8CmJM1bt9hfiqqwouCfehjGdyqg6yOCeLXxlSF6YjLUTtJkWBoLdC3nA4b3Dl-YvwEcQ_FzT6RFjq3o7E3Q6cTVI54/s640/DSC00638.JPG" width="640" /></a></div><br />
I walk down this street every day. this is the quickly melting aftermath of the previous photo. I love the icicles hanging from the eaves of this building. They can be rather brutal if you happen to be unfortunately to be walking beneath one of them when it decides to give in to the pull of gravity and let go, and in reality they are simply caused by bad insulation, but there is nevertheless something magical about them, don't you think?<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYxcJUAK_TYzokLJLs_bGEzjue7_i7TKezS2f1G1sz1aIonKAJind2VFrGUPr0B3KpnEXo14JcheC2lbOZp5nxDEg5Z2bosE3p-uBkQEsqHUCoo23H0iu6lG4G1hueCepRlVUzHFsJSGY/s1600/DSC00640.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="480" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYxcJUAK_TYzokLJLs_bGEzjue7_i7TKezS2f1G1sz1aIonKAJind2VFrGUPr0B3KpnEXo14JcheC2lbOZp5nxDEg5Z2bosE3p-uBkQEsqHUCoo23H0iu6lG4G1hueCepRlVUzHFsJSGY/s640/DSC00640.JPG" width="640" /></a></div><br />
I had a business meeting the other day with a client whose business is just off to the left of the edge of this photo. Walking down to the waterfront to meet him that morning I had the thought "I WORK HERE..." I get to see the deep blue of the Atlantic with the sun shining down on it every day. I get to meet with clients in a room flooded with the brilliance of light dancing off water. I mean, seriously. Can you imagine waking up to this every day?RoutesofPresencehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05029550244131198099noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1139222350120119404.post-29212300606166632672012-04-09T19:23:00.000-07:002012-04-09T19:23:11.972-07:00Late night gratitude notesWe had a wild last hurrah wild winter storm this weekend, so when I left to head downtown this morning I found myself trudging through more snow just when I thought the last of it had melted. After my morning dog-walking job I headed down to Young Folk & the Kettle Black for a tea date with a new friend who just got back from a whirlwind trip to Italy. One of the commitments I made to myself when I moved back to Prince Edward Island was that I would make extra effort to get to know new people, so today was my first effort in that direction! My friend Natasha told me the incredible story of her grandparents' escape from Nazi labour camps, and their journey across Europe and then migration to Canada. I am always blown away by the stories of people who by some miracle of life managed to survive those dark times and go on to create a new life full of so much joy in a new land.<br />
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This afternoon I migrated over to the public library to do some work for my social media clients. I am really excited about the work I am doing right now, and about the season ahead, and all the possibility that it brings to explore and grow and engage both with my clients and with their customers!<br />
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Later this afternoon I again migrated, this time to Timothy's Coffee Shop to brainstorm for a meeting I have with a new client tomorrow afternoon. Sitting in the window of Timothy's with the spring afternoon light flooding in over the page of my notebook and my hot cup of tea as I worked I felt intensely content to have some time to myself to reflect and come up with new ideas that I can share with my client tomorrow. It made me realize both how much I love my work, and how happy I am to be where I am doing what I am doing right now.<br />
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Later this afternoon I took Chloe, the dog I walk, for her second stroll of the day. Chloe is always full of so much joy. I do not know many other beings who express such complete and utter joy when they see me. Seeing her bounding across the living room floor and sliding to a halt at my feet every day makes me smile--every single time. <br />
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This evening I stopped by the apartment of a good friend, Sonjel. She and her husband recently moved back from Israel, and just moved into a new house this week. It is exciting to see how they are creating their new home -- the space they will inhabit for the next few years as they build a life on Prince Edward Island together. It is also exciting to see someone else doing what I hope to be doing too in the next two months....finding a new apartment or house for myself and creating a new home here on the island. Watching my friends settle into their new home I can feel my own yearning for a place to call my own rising steady from somewhere deep inside me. <br />
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This evening Sonjel and I walked to the Baha'i Centre for the Nineteen Day Feast together -- the gathering that marks the beginning of a new month. It was a lovely Feast with beautiful, uplifting readings, some great stories, and lovely social time after the formal portion of the evening. Sitting there listening to the voices of people who I love deeply recite such beautiful verses I felt something joyful surge in my chest. I feel so incredibly grateful to be part of a community that is so awesome. And I feel grateful to have a faith that is such a constant source of inspiration and joy. <br />
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I am home now, listening to the sound of wind outside and thinking about the remainder of the week, stretching out ahead of me. I cannot wait for the week ahead. For all the work and the moments of play with friends. But in this moment right now I cannot wait for sleep, and for dreams to carry me through the clear starry night.<br />
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How about you friends? What are you feeling grateful for today?RoutesofPresencehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05029550244131198099noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1139222350120119404.post-34986424152338104312012-04-08T12:23:00.001-07:002012-04-08T12:29:30.562-07:00DON'T POSTPONE JOY<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgC9Cof4sBmnkhnTykL7cza20EOgnPJIups1T6yjZOWw7TuKWCkYy_LWkot_TrW1aJEkBh0VKrb8uPxhCk0mUWYFWTumwii1w3fZbia1LXwNLVP5Icx9-teYM8h4TOseAqOT-cULb9Y6aI/s1600/406347428_9a202ff656_z.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="480" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgC9Cof4sBmnkhnTykL7cza20EOgnPJIups1T6yjZOWw7TuKWCkYy_LWkot_TrW1aJEkBh0VKrb8uPxhCk0mUWYFWTumwii1w3fZbia1LXwNLVP5Icx9-teYM8h4TOseAqOT-cULb9Y6aI/s640/406347428_9a202ff656_z.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Photo credit: <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/eyloni/">Eylon Israely</a>, 2007 (From Flickr's Creative Commons)</td></tr>
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I was talking to my good friend <a href="http://ahavashira.com/">Ahava Shira</a> the other day. She is in the process of organizing an incredible retreat called <a href="http://ahavashira.com/opening-to-joy-retreat/">Opening to Joy</a> on Salt Spring Island, British Colombia, at the end of this month. Ahava is doing some incredible work with men and women -- empowering them to take the entrepreneurial leap creatively, confidently, and with the support and encouragement to ensure that they succeed. This is the first retreat that she is organizing, and as such is both very exciting and a little bit overwhelming at the same time. Ahava mentioned that so far registration has been low, and that as she was driving home from hosting her weekly Radio Show, <a href="http://ahavashira.com/love-in-the-afternoon/">Love in the Afternoon</a>, she had started thinking about postponing the retreat until the Fall. As she was driving and thinking about this, she looked up and noticed a truck driving down the road in front of her decorated with a bumper sticker that read: "Don't postpone Joy." Ahava is one of the most intuitive people I know, and like me, she is a strong believer in signs, so receiving such a blatantly clear response to her deliberations made her decide to use the weekend to reconsider her idea of postponing, using the time to instead try to come up with a creative way of overcoming the barriers that are preventing those who have expressed an interest in participating in her retreat from registering for it.<br />
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I have been thinking a lot about her story this weekend myself, and reflecting on the deceptively simple message on that bumper sticker. It is so easy, with the stresses and challenges of everyday life, to keep putting joy off until later. Until I have a job. Until I have a better salary. Until I have a place to call home. Until I have met a man to share my life with. Until I have a family.....There are so many excuses for putting joy off, and yet when it comes down to it, being joyful is an art form that really has nothing to do with what you have or do not have, who is in your life or not, or whether you have achieved your version of success. It is an art form that can be mastered at any given moment simply by practicing making the choice at every turn to recognize and celebrate joy. In reality, if you cannot be joyful when things are tough, how can you be sure that you will be any better at it when your circumstances change?<br />
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For my part I am not at all sure that I would be any better at it in different circumstances, so I have decided that DON'T POSTPONE JOY is going to be my mantra for the new year. There will be no more putting joy off til later. Laundry, taxes, shopping and bills--yes. Joy--no.<br />
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What about you, friends? How do you practice the art of joy in the now?RoutesofPresencehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05029550244131198099noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1139222350120119404.post-53143567634077388452012-04-03T17:27:00.001-07:002012-04-03T18:01:13.575-07:00Where I hang my heart<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><img border="0" height="480" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiWSnDSwy8dr5CA9-mWrYqv7diDDP719sOnMD13mPtsk2YmLeMQu4Xhc1S7tR9XUdzoYSlZGlK_XtWa7xe7_dxMHurHrq_RjSQ-smZvp-jeWkK1gCldiPOBpduRCCR13VLpI-e0Yu3T_cw/s640/DSC00542.JPG" width="640" /> </div><br />
Yesterday was Gratitude Monday. Unfortunately it was also the final hurrah for the virus that has been clinging to me for dear life for the last week, so I was not up for my regular blog entry. Tonight, having enjoyed a delicious home-cooked supper and some gluten free chocolate chip cookies still hot and soft from the oven, I am in much better shape for blogging :-).<br />
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The home-cooked meal, the cookies, and the heavenly bed I am lying in as I type this entry are all thanks to my good friends Ann and Stephen, who are, at this point, really more family than friends. It has been dawning on me lately that someone, somewhere in my extended family must have done something very, very right at some point, the effects on which are for some reason unknown to me manifesting themselves in my life in the form of exceptionally good fortune in the friend department. I am certain that Ann and Stephen will be simply thrilled that I have chosen this photo of us to post. Fortunately I am equally certain that they will forgive me by tomorrow morning -- it isn't in their genes to be irritated long.<br />
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Since returning to PEI a number of my friends have had me sleeping in their homes so much that it really is a miracle that they haven't had a restraining order taken out against me yet. The friends in the photo above are two such people. Although I did, for the record, move into an apartment a few weeks ago, when I came down with the virus that I have been fighting for the past ten days, Ann and Stephen suggested that I come stay at their place for a few days until I was feeling better. Little did they know that I would still be here five days later. Still.... after five days of good food, a cozy bed, hot baths and lots of hot tea and sleep, I am finally feeling a lot better, and am planning on moving back to my current home tomorrow afternoon.<br />
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As I was walking back to Ann and Stephen's house yesterday afternoon that old saying "home is where you hang your heart" came to mind, and I realized that Prince Edward Island is home because of the exceptional people living here who have opened their hearts and homes to me. And then I realized that in reality exceptional people are not exceptional here at all. Since returning to the island everyone I meet has been exceptional. Strangers help me out or offer a kind word on a regular basis. The public bus driver worries when I am not on the bus. People give me discounts or do not charge me knowing that I am living on a tight budget until I find full time work. People offer rides when I am tired. Friends turn up to walk with me when I take the dog that I am currently walking as a job for her daily walk when they can tell I am not feeling well. Friends invite me over to supper. Friends help me get to the doctor. Someone offers me paid work for the day at the farmer's market. Friends invite me into their homes to give me the chance to rest and heal when I am sick. I am surrounded by so many exceptionally kind and loving people that it has become the norm.<br />
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Many people have asked me why I moved back to Prince Edward Island after having left two years ago. Many of my friends do not really understand how I could choose this seemingly remote island in the north Atlantic over the sunshine state of California. I love islands because they are small and tightly knit. Everyone knows everyone else. Because there are so few people, every single person is important to the health and well being of the community. This means a greater degree of responsibility on the one hand, but also a greater sense of mutual support and recognition of interconnectedness on the other. It should be this way everywhere, and some day I am sure it will be. For my part I am just grateful to know what it means to belong to a place and community. To want to be an active, responsible, engaged member of this island family. To love and know, without having to ask, that the love is coming right back at me. And to be certain in my core that I have a place and a valuable role to play on this vast and infinitely beautiful planet earth.RoutesofPresencehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05029550244131198099noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1139222350120119404.post-12412637545609692942012-03-28T19:59:00.001-07:002012-03-28T20:01:45.263-07:00Crepuscular<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiGrR_RJRGdReJOn0KH-5FJDqcUTxofRwGgrDdOS8-sBG_RFC_oWsq-OGEwI-WCpPS865E-2TYO2PEdPnrQS9oMezOmpYOpyudSiDyBPXxqgHjci51mA7_PM7CJG_J2dWJ196BI_Jy2AaQ/s1600/DSC00572.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="480" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiGrR_RJRGdReJOn0KH-5FJDqcUTxofRwGgrDdOS8-sBG_RFC_oWsq-OGEwI-WCpPS865E-2TYO2PEdPnrQS9oMezOmpYOpyudSiDyBPXxqgHjci51mA7_PM7CJG_J2dWJ196BI_Jy2AaQ/s640/DSC00572.JPG" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Photo by Ariana Salvo. May not be reproduced without permission. </td></tr>
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<span class="definition">I came across the word "crepuscular" tonight in a novel I am reading in which the main character describes himself as being "crepuscular." I had heard the word in Italian, but never heard anyone use it in English before. Grabbing a dictionary, I came across a number of meanings, including: </span><br />
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<span class="definition">1. Of, resembling, or relating to twilight</span><br />
<span class="definition">2. A period of dull/faint light at either dawn or dusk</span><br />
<span class="definition">3. Light that has not yet reached its fullest brilliance/potential </span><br />
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<span class="definition">I like the idea that light is hinting at, but not yet achieving its fullest potential both when it is growing towards brilliance and when waning into the inky blackness of the night. I also am intrigued by the idea that things other than light can be described as being crepuscular. In my last blog entry I wrote about seeing the light in those around us. Do you see the crepuscular light in those around you? Do you see the crepuscular light in yourself? How can you nurture it to make the transition from half-light to brilliance? </span>RoutesofPresencehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05029550244131198099noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1139222350120119404.post-73036834840609818752012-03-26T18:29:00.000-07:002012-03-26T18:29:45.368-07:00A friend's lightAs I type this millions of white ice crystals are swirling earthwards outside my window--the beginning of a spring snowstorm predicted to leave us with 10cm of snow and winds sweeping the island with 60-90km/hr winds, just in case we were thinking winter had packed her bags early this year. I love the snow. I love how different snow feels to rain--not just in how much more softly it falls, but in the effect is has on the world that it blankets in its whiteness. It gives off light, makes everything and everyone slow down, and seems to be saying "shhhhhh.....be quiet. Tread softly. Notice the details."<br />
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I was reading a blog entry by one of my favourite bloggers, Karen Walrond at <a href="http://chookooloonks.com/">Chookooloonks.com</a> this morning entitled "<a href="http://www.chookooloonks.com/blog/random-thought-look-for-the-light">Look for the Light</a>."What this blog entry is about is looking for the light not just to take the best photograph (Karen is an incredible photographer), but to look for the light in every single person around you as well. This idea is in line with my own belief that is a person has nine not so awesome characteristics and one great characteristic I should focus on the one good characteristic and overlook the other nine. Easier said than done, I know, but it is what I aim for nevertheless.<br />
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It being Gratitude Monday, I thought I would take some inspiration from Karen's title, and share something with you about a friend of mine whose light has been quite literally flooding my life lately. <br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh0lNO95_qpBAj8p1RAmxXeYUwSrgiDEbOzO3W9_6M8Wd94480nODiHx65x18Ny8jC00WTE_VMxdLr2sbyz9_cGoIsBxD2ZDsGWw_7j-IdVy-MZwBIZ3i_flTJ-KjPKxH8PrHYPCEvKWiw/s1600/DSC00599.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh0lNO95_qpBAj8p1RAmxXeYUwSrgiDEbOzO3W9_6M8Wd94480nODiHx65x18Ny8jC00WTE_VMxdLr2sbyz9_cGoIsBxD2ZDsGWw_7j-IdVy-MZwBIZ3i_flTJ-KjPKxH8PrHYPCEvKWiw/s640/DSC00599.JPG" width="480" /></a></div><br />
I met Honeylyn in 2009 in the laundry room in the building I used to live in here on Prince Edward Island. It amuses me even now that we met in the laundry room. Some people are obviously just *meant* to cross paths. Honeylyn is from the Philippines. She comes from a family of nine children, and her parents are rice farmers. Officially she moved to Prince Edward Island to study nursing, but I have a growing suspicion that the real reason she migrated around the world was to transform hearts by sharing her own light and helping those around her seek out and brighten their own light.<br />
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Since returning to Prince Edward Island at the end of December I have started spending a lot of my free time with Honeylyn. I have been watching how she both gives her light, and finds light in others. Honeylyn works very long hours at an elderly people's care facility, which requires a great deal of patience, perseverance, kindness and compassion. The rest of her time she spends at the university or the hospital progressing towards becoming a fully qualified nurse. When she is not working or studying, Honeylyn is actively involved in serving her community. One activity she is actively engaged in is leading a local junior youth group. Every Friday evening she meets with this group of youth, prepares food with them, enjoys social time with them, and then leads a session during which the youth develop their power of expression, discuss social justice and environmental issues, and learn what it means to be active agents of positive change in their community.<br />
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Honeylyn is quiet and soft-spoken. She does not impose her views on others, but shares them lovingly and with humility. She is rarely the centre of attention yet I often find myself noticing that if she were not in the room things would not be going nearly as well or as smoothly as they are. When the youth finish their meal and most of us are sitting at the table chatting, Honeylyn has usually quietly withdrawn to wash dishes so that we can quickly move on to the next part of the evening. She has her hands in the underlying mechanics of what is going on in a very subtle yet effective way that empowers those around her and encourages them to learn, grow and serve.<br />
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In the past few weeks Honeylyn has been a terrific friend to have around. She has accompanied me to movies, on walks, and out for tea and for supper. She and I have shared home-cooked meals, studied/worked together, discussed our challenges and our hopes, shared a lot of laughter, and sat and said prayers together. Last week when I heard that one of my best friends may well be very unwell, Honeylyn said she wanted to say the Baha'i Long Healing Prayer for my friend -- which moved me deeply. Last night I had to walk downtown on a rather chilly night to take photos of an open mic evening at Timothy's coffee shop for their Facebook page. I had a fever and a sore throat and did not really feel like going anywhere but was preparing to head out anyway when Honeylyn called to ask if I would like some company. She had been out all day at work and at community events, but she was still offering to accompany me downtown on a cold night and expose herself to whatever germs I was spreading around last night. Her presence for the walk down and back, and the couple hours that we were downtown made my night so much lighter and full of joy than it would have been if I had been alone. This evening I was sitting here sucking on throat losenges and waiting for my laundry to dry when the phone rang. It was Honeylyn calling to see how I was feeling. No matter how old a person gets, receiving a phone call to ask how you are feeling when you are under the weather is the best gift a friend can offer. More light.<br />
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How about you friends? Is there someone in your life whose presence not only sheds light, but encourages you to find and share your own light? Have you told this person how much you appreciate their light in your life? Happy Gratitude Monday, friends!RoutesofPresencehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05029550244131198099noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1139222350120119404.post-22499843014752027772012-03-24T19:07:00.000-07:002012-03-24T19:07:09.069-07:00Red chairs & coffee cupsI have too many email accounts. I made this realization this evening when I opened an email account that I have not checked in a couple of days to discover that I had an email asking me to babysit tonight. In other words I could have been making money tonight if I had fewer email accounts. Lesson learned. Time to cancel the other two accounts.<br />
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I always have believed there is a reason for everything. I am home tonight because I did not check one of my older email accounts. If I were babysitting I would not be home. If I were not home I would not be writing this blog entry. Moral of the story: being irresponsible can promote one's creative endeavours (albeit while simultaneously perpetuating the widely held perspective that the creative life is synonymous with poverty).<br />
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I am neglecting the red chairs and coffee cups.<br />
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Today I went for coffee with my friend Honeylyn. We went to Young Folk & The Kettle Black, the newest coffee shop in town, located on a tiny little street called Water Street that runs parallel to the harbour. I have been to this new coffee spot twice in the last week, and am very quickly becoming rather attached to the place for a number of reasons:<br />
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1. I love the way it is nestled into the row of some of the oldest buildings in Charlottetown.<br />
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2. I love the large windows, and the way the light falls in from all sides, illuminating the wood floors, whitewashed tables, coffee roasting machine and glass dessert case, and the red chairs. I also love the fabric art decorating the walls that is made by Rebecca, half of the husband and wife team that owns the cafe. <br />
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3. I love the art in general. The building actually has an art gallery on the second floor that is the domain of Rebecca, a fabric artist. The gallery displays artwork by various Canadian artists -- jewelers, painters, knitters, weavers, and much more. <br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">4. While Rebecca is busy upstairs her husband Adam is managing the cafe downstairs, and I have to say -- he is doing a superb job. Every little detail is seen to, from the white Christmas lights coiled around the pipes running the length of the ceiling to the cash register, which is an ipad mounted in a wooden frame which is in turn mounted onto a tea kettle base. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"> </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjTZVLuf5rfdyWvijvc-vRUap2mFHy0Ahpw72AKx-3UFCeda5OEgPLe8mmJid0K7-vEgJsEJh6SZQJOA0LmRuDrXCr7_pL6MSyAkcfAcIqzqgUI8qySBNUjoAKcTu3Z3XcWb2eaNdNB01U/s1600/DSC00591.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="480" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjTZVLuf5rfdyWvijvc-vRUap2mFHy0Ahpw72AKx-3UFCeda5OEgPLe8mmJid0K7-vEgJsEJh6SZQJOA0LmRuDrXCr7_pL6MSyAkcfAcIqzqgUI8qySBNUjoAKcTu3Z3XcWb2eaNdNB01U/s640/DSC00591.JPG" width="640" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">5. I had not seen one coffee shop in Charlottetown that actually caters to its child customers before entering Young Folk, and now I wonder why more places haven't. I mean what a brilliant idea -- provide a special place that kids can enjoy while their parents savor their coffee and conversations....</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjPBgZm7DgJYxTQA7W3vk60cvYTGLmyw4PmlWTFU90cKvD0HaW7C2QXpSgAmtD4Sl_zTkyTe1ZvC3TE_ecBs-xVQ_M4zua0Rv7EOufKiRVpUAnz8zRq6f2sd7E2dQQLjydfUG9YBvLhBEk/s1600/DSC00592.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjPBgZm7DgJYxTQA7W3vk60cvYTGLmyw4PmlWTFU90cKvD0HaW7C2QXpSgAmtD4Sl_zTkyTe1ZvC3TE_ecBs-xVQ_M4zua0Rv7EOufKiRVpUAnz8zRq6f2sd7E2dQQLjydfUG9YBvLhBEk/s640/DSC00592.JPG" width="480" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"> </div>6. Not only is the atmosphere peaceful and light, the tunes they play are awesome (Bob Dylan), and the drinks rock. I had a cafe mocha. It was creamy with a thick layer of foam on the top and just enough chocolate to take off the bitter edge. Today I also had a smoked turkey, provalone and cranberry goat cheese sandwich with slices of tomato -- they do not yet have gluten-free bread, but they DO make all their sandwich selections wrapped in romaine lettuce leaves. It is not nearly as filling as bread, so I am hoping they get some gluten free bread in there soon, but it was still delicious. I especially enjoyed the cranberry goat cheese. My friend Honeylyn had a Tiramisu which she said was divine, and a latte (also very good). I had gluten free passion fruit mousse for dessert, which, once I had examined it and determined that the cake filling in the centre was truly gluten free (it looked an awful lot like regular cake), was pretty good. I would have liked it to have more passionfuit mousse in it, less chocolate, and perhaps a little less sugar. Next time I will try something else. I was surprised to see that all of their desserts are being shipped in frozen, which I hope they change at some point given what a great opportunity they have to get local bakers to supply them here on the island, but they have only been open a couple weeks, so I figure they will figure these things out with time. They are also planning to start roasting their own beans in the near-future, which will, I believe, be a first for Charlottetown. I cannot wait to taste the result! <br />
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This is what my dessert looked like.<br />
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Preparing to taste my gorgeous-looking dessert: <br />
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This is me inspecting the supposedly gluten-free cake filling suspiciously (unaware that Honeylyn had snuck my camera away from me and was snapping shots of my inspection process!): <br />
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This is me subjecting my mousse to closer inspection:<br />
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My reaction after Adam assured me that it was most definitely gluten-free, and I had taken my first bite (Apparently I liked it more than I realized!):<br />
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My mocha was pretty damn good too:<br />
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And of course the company, sitting opposite me amusing herself with my camera, was awesome!<br />
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Yup. Pretty happy all around!<br />
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I know I missed my Wednesday and Friday posts this week. Hopefully this post makes up for my absence this week! More soon! have a great Saturday night, and a relaxing Sunday. See you here for Gratitude Monday, friends!RoutesofPresencehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05029550244131198099noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1139222350120119404.post-10420957313050331782012-03-19T20:39:00.000-07:002012-03-19T20:39:49.437-07:00Monday gratitude masquerading as TuesdaySo I realise that Gratitude Monday is technically over given that it is after midnight, but throughout the day today I found myself feeling deeply grateful for a number of things, so I am calling this Gratitude Tuesday instead. Here is my gratitude list for today:<br />
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1. Today was a cold but gloriously sunny day. The snow is melting, the sidewalks are easy to navigate again, and I enjoyed my walk with Chloe this morning. There were birds perched in the bare branches of trees singing sweet tunes, people were smiling as they passed me on the sidewalk, and I even noticed the first buds starting to appear in people's front gardens as the snow retreats.<br />
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2. I said a whole bunch of prayers for my meeting with the owner of a local media company this morning. I have been feeling really discouraged this week by the lack of progress I am making in my search for full time work here on the Island, so a good dose of prayers was essential before I walked into yet another networking meeting. Amazingly the owner of this company, who had told me just last week that he did not have any jobs, ended up discussing the very real possibility of a position opening up with his business that I might be able to fill. I am not sure how this will turn out, but it was the best meeting I have had in weeks, and this fact alone reminded me that truly believing that things will work out is 99% of the battle already won. I will hear back from him within the next week. Fingers crossed.<br />
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3. I had a great supper with my dear friend Honeylyn. We have had a standing Monday night breaking the Fast date for the past 19 days of the Baha'i Fast. I have thoroughly enjoyed our suppers together at one of my favourite restaurants, Tai Chi Garden--a Taiwanese restaurant in downtown Charlottetown.<br />
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4. Post-supper myself and Honeylyn met up with our friend Jalal for hot drinks at Timothy's. We had been planning on attending an open mic at one of the local pubs, but when we found out it only started at between 10.30 and 11, we thought maybe not....we do have to be up before sunrise again tomorrow! It turned out that hot drinks and social time was just as good. An evening of sharing our horror stories from high school and breaking out in fits of laughter at the craziness of those years=perfect way to end the first day of a new week. <br />
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5. I am grateful for my health. This is the first time I have made it through the entire Baha'i Fast without getting sick, and I am feeling incredibly thankful to have managed to have the blessing of Fasting for the past 19 days with a healthy body.<br />
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That's my gratitude practice for today. How about you? What are you grateful for today?RoutesofPresencehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05029550244131198099noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1139222350120119404.post-71259005738913574762012-03-16T19:48:00.000-07:002012-03-16T19:48:07.241-07:00Request for prayersI received news this morning that one of my best friends may be very sick. She is flying to England this weekend for tests and possible treatment. She has been on my mind all day. As walked the dog, as I did social media work for clients. As I had a business meeting this afternoon. As I rode the bus. And even tonight as I helped host a movie night for the junior youth in my community.<br />
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Thinking about the possibility of her being unwell got me thinking about what my world would be like without her in it, and realizing that I truly cannot imagine my universe without her in it. I have known her for over twenty years. She has been, and continues to be one of those friends who is there for me no matter what. She doesn't judge me, or criticize me, but she does remind me to always strive to be the best person that I am capable of being. She reminds me to hold onto my religious values. She shows me, through her own unshakable faith what it means to truly trust wholly in God. She is an example to me of what being a strong, hard-working, endlessly patient and unwaveringly determined mother means. She is a great cook. She can be serious, but knows when it is time to sit back, relax, and laugh out loud. She is courageous and creative, optimistic and open-hearted. She is a beautiful person both inside and out, and I feel blessed to know her as one of my best friends.<br />
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It is hard to know that someone I love is going through tough times and that I am not able to be near them, so I have been thinking all day of ways I could contribute something positive to her process. What I came up with is this: I am already saying healing prayers for her. I believe that saying healing prayers sends positive energy out into the universe that will inevitably assist her through the toughest part of this journey she is on. I would like to invite you to join me by saying some healing prayers for my dear friend. If you would like to join me, just leave your name below in the comments section letting me know that you will be joining my healing prayer campaign.<br />
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I look forward to praying with you, friends! Let's send out a flood of healing energy!!!RoutesofPresencehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05029550244131198099noreply@blogger.com6