Island girl

As I sit and write this entry, the wind is howling around the house outside. I arrived on Prince Edward Island last night a little after midnight. You know when you were so excited about something as a child that you could not *wait* to get to whatever it was that you were so revved up about? That would have been me when I climbed down the stairs from the plane out onto the island last night, and made like a mad woman for the doors into the arrival area. My dear friends Paul and Alanna were there waiting for me...they had stayed up to come get me from the airport. We bundled into their car and came back to their home for hot tea and a long chat that kept us up into the early hours of the morning.

Last night I lay in bed and watched the sky through the windows--lit up by the brightness of winter. The wind blew and blew, and I lay awake for a long time thinking to myself how good it was to hear the power of the winter wind again.

Eventually I fell asleep, and woke this morning, got ready, and headed out with my dear friend Alanna to get breakfast at a local greasy spoon that was jam-packed with islanders. It was the perfect way to start the day. Alanna is one of those friends who I can talk to for hours and hours, and we somehow never run out of things to share. We share stories, thoughts, ideas, fears, dreams, and most of all lots and lots of laughter. I have been laughing all day long. Our breakfast lasted three hours. When we finally dragged ourselves out of the booth we had taken up residence in, we decided to head out to the house she recently bought in the country to have tea. It was a migrating conversation if you will! We bundled up and headed outside into the icy wind, hobbling across the icy patches of the parking lot and jumping into the car, all giggles and joy. There is something about truly freezing weather that you just have to laugh about. Today it was -18 windchill, which, if you live in California, is bloody cold, but not nearly as cold as it can get here in the middle of winter.

We headed out to her home in the country. The road had ice and snow all along it, so we drove slowly, giddy with the excitement of the day and with our little escape from the reality of the world for a full day. We finally reached the turning for the house, turned in past the little mailbox, and drove up the dirt driveway to the house. The home she and her husband just bought is a rather old house, and has all the charm of a small, storybook house out in the country. It has a barn and a few tiny cottage-like buildings on the property, wood floors, lots of windows that look out across the fields to the west, and a wood-burning stove. Alanna immediately got to work stoking the stove, and got a fire going while I made tea. We brought two chairs in front of the stove and sat down to our steaming mugs of sweet almond tea. The sky through the windows that stretched along the whole western wall stretched out in bands of rose and violet. The earth was dark with shadow and dampness. Reeds outside the window rustled hollowly against the panes of glass. It was so peaceful. Alanna and I talked and laughed, sipped our tea, and warmed our hands by the heat of the fire. It was such a magical evening. As the last light was fading we decided it was time to head back to town to get some groceries and then go back to her house where I had promised to cook Alanna and Paul a hot, belly-filling supper.

I cooked pasta with mushroom red sauce sprinkled with cheese, and salad. It was a simple but hearty meal-- the kind of meal that is perfect on a cold night in December. The company was excellent. The wind howled outside. After supper I made tea, and we sat around the table getting caught up on work that each of us needed to get done. Now I am sitting here alone. Alanna and Paul have headed to bed. The wind is still howling. I find it calming in a familiar sort of way. The sound of an old friend whispering a poem I have heard many times--one that slows my heartbeat and assures me that everything--everything is exactly as it should be in this moment. Such is the song of the PEI wind.

I never thought I would say that I am happy to be home about this island, but that is how I feel. The muscle-relaxing peacefulness even in frigid temperatures, the laughter that has been playing upon my lips all day, and the sense that some sense of rightness has been restored in my world. I am home, and whether it is for an extended stay or a short visit, it feels really, really good, friends!

Wherever you are, I hope you are having a night rich with dreams, wrapped with the sounds of winter, and that joy is bubbling up plentiful in your chest!

Island-bound

Some of my peeps from PEI that I will be seeing soon!

It is Tuesday evening. Tomorrow morning I will be rising at around 2.30am to get ready to head off to the airport. It is nice to be leaving a house that is still inhabited by people instead of an home emptied of furniture as is often what I see when I glance back into a space I am leaving. It has been a productive day--I think there is actually some chance of my actually getting to bed early enough to get some shut-eye before I have to be up and on the go again.

The next few days promise to be full of awesome people, joy, snow, and lots of hot tea, and I promise to share as much of my travels with you as I can, keeping in mind that also want to focus my attention on the present moment and enjoying the company of so many close friends. 

I had planned on blogging every day this month. That was before I booked this trip. I have been thinking about whether to take my computer with me on this trip, and have decided that I am going to take it, but that I may or may not be blogging every day that I am away. You will notice a definite silence tomorrow. This is because I will be in the air, en-route to Prince Edward Island from six in the morning until midnight (or 4am, if you are in California!). I will try to post at least a few times while I am away to keep you updated on all of my winter adventures!

Thank you all for being such supportive readers over the last few weeks and months! I bid you goodnight from California! More from snowy PEI!

Boxing day gratitude

It is boxing day, and I have spent the entire day out gathering last minute things for my upcoming trip to Prince Edward Island. I have not been feeling very well, so whereas I might ordinarily have been on a pre-departure high two days before leaving for a big trip, today I was trying to navigate the *please let me not be getting sick before this trip* waters, and drinking masses of vitamin-C enriched water.

But I digress. This is gratitude Monday, and so here is what I am feeling grateful for today:

1. My mother, who spent her entire day running errands with me because she knew I was not feeling well, and wanted to be sure I got everything done before taking off without over-stressing myself.

2. The fact that I have had three delicious meals today with people I love in a cozy, heated home.

3. The fact that I own a functional suitcase, and therefore did not have to add that to my already rather long list of errands to run today.

4. The generosity of the family and friends who have enabled me to make this trip in the first place.

5. The recognition that there is an entire community of people on the other side of the continent in whose company I feel completely at home, and that are happy to welcome me into their homes for my time back on the island.

6. The technology that is going to get me safely from this side of the continent all the way to the other side in a single (albeit very long!) day.

7. An in-house washing machine and dryer so that I do not have to be sitting in a cold laundromat tonight washing my clothes.

8. The presence of a warm bed just a couple of feet to my left that I am going to collapse into as soon as I finish this blog post.

That is my list for today, friends! What are you feeling grateful for on this chilly Monday? I wish you all a good night!

A quiet Christmas day

 

"Jesus Christ was an Educator of humanity. His teachings were altruistic; His bestowal, universal. He taught mankind by the power of the Holy Spirit and not through human agency, for the human power is limited, whereas the divine power is illimitable and infinite." -Abdu'l-Baha

 

It is Christmas day, and I seem to be getting sick. Still, my parents wanted to get out of the house and take a walk, so we bundled up and headed over to Davis to take a walk through the Botanical gardens at the University of California at Davis. It was a slightly overcast day when we set out on our walk. The waterway we walked along was dark and speckled with fallen oak leaves. There was no breeze blowing. It was very still. We walked along reading the placards in front of every plant and the descriptions of what the place we were walking through used to be like. Apparently the land that the university sits on used to belong to Native peoples, and the section of the garden we were in seemed to be devoted to their communities. The descriptions of what the area was like about two hundred years ago were evocative. The air full of smoke from women cooking in a camp, the sound of the water moving along next to their camp, and the complete absence of roads or cement. As we walked along I tried to imagine it. It was hard to imagine, as the strip of vegetation along both sides of the water is now surrounded on both sides by buildings and roads as far as the eye can see. It is amazing to me that only two hundred years ago Native people still lived in this place in relative peace, surrounded by the uninterrupted wide open valley landscape. How much the place has changed in such a short period of time. 

 

After our walk we drove up and down the abandoned streets of Davis looking for somewhere to get a hot drink. We were unsuccessful. Not one place open. So we headed back into Sacramento and repeated the process, only to find that in the entire city of Sacramento only one coffee shop (that we could find) was open. It was packed, but we managed to snag a table, and settled in for a hot drink and a chat. This evening, after dinner, we are planning on checking out War Horse. 

 

Wherever you are, friends, and whatever you are doing this Christmas day, I wish you a joy-filled day, and a warm evening with family and friends! 

A day that was not supposed to happen

"Do not be content with showing friendship in words alone. Let your heart burn with loving kindness for all who may cross your path." Abdu'l-Baha, Paris Talks, pp. 15-16

Today did not go at all how I had envisioned, and I am feeling grateful that it didn't. You know how sometimes things do not happen the way you had hoped, but because the things you had hoped would happen did not, a space opened for what you were intended to do? Well that was my Christmas eve. I was supposed to be spending most of my day with a close friend. We were going to go out for Thai food, and then go sit in a coffee shop with our books and read. It was to be epically lazy, filled with laughter and coziness. At a quarter to eleven, when my friend called, I was all ready to go with my coat on and hat and scarf ready by the front door. She was calling to say she was running late by an hour. I took off my coat, made tea, and sat and had a conversation with my mother in the kitchen while I waited. About an hour later my phone rang again. My friend apologized profusely, but she had just found out that her aunt in India had passed away, and was going to have to call her family instead of coming into town. I have to admit I was a little disappointed. Most of my friends are out of town for the holidays, and I had a feeling that the few friends that are in town were already busy--I called around, but I was right -- everyone who was in town was busy doing their own thing today.

The Universal House of Justice, the international administrative body for the Baha'i community writes letters to the Baha'i world on a regular basis. Some of these are longer than others. The letters bring Baha'is all over the world up to date on what is happening, where we are headed as a global community, and what learning has been taking places around the world. On December 12th the House of Justice released a new letter. A copy of the letter has been sitting on my bedside table for a number of days now. I have skimmed it, but have been wanting to sit down and really read and reflect on its contents. With the unexpected time this afternoon I made myself a cup of tea, settled into my nest with pillows and a blanket, and immersed myself in the letter for a couple of hours, taking notes in the margins and underlining points that seemed especially poignant. When I finished the letter I was feeling really excited about the ways in which the Baha'i community is bringing about positive change all over the world, and excited for what lies ahead, and the ways that I can participate in community development at the local level.

Shortly after I finished reading the letter the phone rang. It was my dear friend Rafael from Arizona who was calling me from her parents' farm in Prescott, where she is spending her Christmas break from he PhD program. Rafael and I had a lovely chat, caught up on the latest in each others' lives, and wished each other safe travels -- she is headed to spend the southern summer with her boyfriend in Chile, and I am headed to PEI, Canada for a short visit.

I hung up the phone from my conversation with Rafael, and immediately received a text message from my friend Mariela. She and her husband David have a tradition of collecting winter clothes -- scarves, hats, gloves, sweaters/sweatshirts and coats, making care packages, and distributing the packages to homeless people around the city. She was calling to say that David was not feeling all that well tonight, and would I be interested in joining her. I texted back immediately that *of course* I was interested, and before I knew it she was ringing my doorbell, her car stocked not only with warm clothing, but with hot chocolate and individually wrapped home-baked cookies (I'm telling you--the woman rocks). We loaded into the car and took off, driving along as slow as we could in search of homeless people throughout the city. When we would spot someone we would pull over, roll down a window, and ask if they would be interested in a care package, some hot chocolate and a cookie. We meandered around the city, leaping out of the car and handing out clothing, hot chocolate and cookies to some very grateful folks. One woman, after receiving her hot chocolate and cookie, looked and me and said: "can I have a hug?" I was rather shocked by her question, and a little uncertain, but I said "sure," and leaned in and embraced her. She latched onto me, started crying and repeating "I've missed you so much" over and over, and wouldn't let go. Standing on the sidewalk hugging this woman whose every earthly possession was in a pile behind her both terrified and moved me deeply. I tried to pull away a couple of times, but she kept holding on, so I finally gave in a just stood there holding her. Finally she released her hold on me enough for me to pull back. She looked up at me and said "thank you so much." I stood there on the sidewalk feeling a little shaken, but more than being shaken, I was deeply saddened by the fact that this woman quite obviously is suffering from mental illness, and that she also has obviously lost someone that she loved very much. I also felt saddened by the fact that she quite clearly is rarely spoken to or touched by anyone, and that she both needs to give love to and receive love from other human beings, and this is not happening--at least not as often as it should be. 

Mariela and I made a few last stops as the evening turned into night, and the shadows grew much longer, and people became much harder to see. We looked for lumps on the sidewalk-- lumps that could have been heaps of garbage. It shook me to my core to realize that often we had to literally get out of the car and walk up to a dark pile on the pavement before we knew whether it was a person or garbage. What kind of a community do we live in, in which people are allowed to become so degraded that they become indistinguishable from garbage at a distance? It is obvious that we as individuals and as a community are failing to put the quote at the beginning of this blog post into practice when a man or woman is allowed to lie on the pavement in a heap covered in dirt, cold and hungry, when just behind them Christmas trees glow in windows and families eat delicious meals and share warmth, laughter and love.

I did not grow up in a place that had homeless people. There just weren't any, or if there were I never saw them. When I first encountered homeless people in North America I was shocked and terrified. Fear is what I felt most. It is a fear that I have carried with me ever since. I smile and greet most homeless people that I pass on the street, but I hold a deep hope as I do so that they will not speak to me, or harm me. I find the erratic behaviour of many homeless people--caused by drug or alcohol abuse and/or mental health issues--to be scary. I am not sure why. I have a close friend in Arizona who was always deeply kind to homeless people we would pass on the street. She would always stop to speak with them, and show them some affection. I always wished I could be more like her-- less fearful of what I did not know or could not understand, and more open to allowing love and kindness to fill the space ordinarily filled by fear. 

When Mariela invited me to join her today my immediate internal response was "no way! I can't do that!" The reason for this reaction was my own fear. After thinking about it for a few minutes, I realized that this was an opportunity to not only help a friend and bring some joy into the lives of people who lead very hard lives, but also a chance to confront and start overcoming my own prejudices and fears, because how can I ever love someone if I fear them? The answer was clear: I can't. Being afraid of someone is a barrier to love--one that we can rationalize, but a barrier nonetheless.

I came home tonight feeling really thankful for the opportunity to overcome my own fears and just get out there and give to others. Yes we did encounter a couple of men this evening whose aggressive behaviour made me feel fear, but out of the more than 24 people we handed care packages, hot chocolate and cookies to, only two made me uncomfortable. All the rest were kind, gentle, and grateful for our care packages. Some of them told us a little about what it was like to live on the street. Some talked about loneliness. Some told us that the care package was the best thing that has happened to them in a while, and that maybe things were starting to look up.

The day did not go as I had planned, but I learned many important lessons tonight about unity and love. I am hoping that next time I pass someone who is homeless I can look them in the eye, smile, and give them my love without looking away or crossing the street out of discomfort or fear. It is hard to confront my own fears and prejudices head-on, recognize them honestly for what they are, and then keep moving forward anyway. But if I want to live in a community characterized by love and kindness, I do not see any other option. My community is a reflection of who I am, who you are, who all our friends and family are. If we want a community characterized by love we must show love --to everyone, not just those we find it easy to love.

How about you, friends? Have you come up against the limitations of your own fears lately? How did you confront and overcome your limitations?

Two days before Christmas, a.k.a. Friday.

Three of my favourite people on PEI

It is two days before Christmas, also known as Friday. I am curled up with a duvet, mug of chamomile tea, cinnamon raisin toast with almond butter on it, and lots of pillows. I am having a pampered day that began with an exceptionally long shower, a deep-tissue massage by my friend Rick Schneider with Alpha Concepts Massage and Bodywork (heavenly), and lunch with my mother. After lunch I went to pick up a new novel that was waiting for me at the library, Someone Knows My Name (will let you know how it is), and then came home to curl up and write my blog entry.

All around me the world is in a Christmas preparation tizzy. The traffic is insane. It takes over an hour to get to places that I can usually reach in twenty minutes. Shoppers are out in full-force. It always feels a little odd to not have plans at Christmas time. When my grandparents were alive we used to get a Christmas tree because they were Christian, but now my mom gets a new door wreath every December. In comparison with most of the other houses on our street a door wreath just doesn't cut it, but trying to convince my mother that we should put Christmas lights in our windows would take 'til at least mid-February, so I am learning to content myself with the wreath.

My life this past week has been entirely focused on work and saving up for my last-minute upcoming trip to Prince Edward Island. I am really looking forward to my trip, and to getting to spend some quality time with some of my favourite people in the whole world. I have favourite people all over the world, but the highest concentration of them are on a little island in Atlantic Canada, which just goes to show that cold climates really do nurture warm hearts. The idea of being in Prince Edward Island with some of my closest friends for two weeks makes me so happy I can barely type. The fact that visiting PEI is the highlight of my holiday season throws my celebrations slightly out of sync with pretty nearly everyone around me, but to be honest I'm perfectly fine with that. This Christmas weekend will be a mellow one in our house. I am imagining lots of tea, maybe a meal out, a movie, games, dessert....more tea. You get the picture. There will be no present-exchange in our home. Being Baha'is, exchanging gifts at Christmas is not part of our tradition. But we will say some prayers to commemorate the birth of Christ, and join in what is, to me, the most important part of this holiday--quality time with family.

Wherever you are, and whatever you are up to this holiday season, I hope you are having a brilliant time! Happy two days before Christmas, friends!

Leaves will never look the same again

 Those of you who have been reading my blog for the last three days know that I have spent my week raking leaves at the home of a girlfriend of mine who lives on a piece of property that is has enough trees that by the time I left at the end of the day today, the spot I had raked Monday was completely carpeted in leaves again. As I raked and raked....and raked, a lovely refreshing breeze blew, sending a steady shower of golden leaves circling earthward. It did not take me long to realize that having any part of her property completely leaf-free for more than a minute or two was impossible. I had to content myself with the momentary satisfaction that at least for today my hours of hard work had cleared enough of the leaves off of the lawn between the house and the pond that the grass looked green again instead of brown. Hey--you count your blessings where you can. I opted not to go back and inspect the pool area that I spent two days clearing leaves from. It looked beautiful yesterday, and that's how I want to remember it!! I always wondered why our Mexican gardeners move through our property like a tornado and are gone again before I know it. Now I know. If they stuck around their work would be undone before they had a chance to savour a job well done. Point taken. I want to say next time I take a raking job I will be sure to remember the key to successful raking: rake and run--preferably never to return. But that means there will be a next time, and to be honest for the past couple of days whenever I see leaves (and the city is truly inundated with them right now), I shudder. Don't get me wrong. Work is work, and I would much rather be working outside where I am exercising and getting lots of fresh air. But there is a certain degree of futility about raking that I have not yet made peace with. I mean what is the point, if it is going to look exactly the way it did before I started within a day or two?

Anyway. I took a few shots of my Mount Olympus to share with you, and to reassure myself that all the hard work DID actually accomplish something, just in case I go back to the house for a visit in a week or so and find all the surfaces I cleared completely covered in leaves again. It is more a plateau now, as I couldn't reach the top to keep piling it up, so it grew outwards.

So here is Plateau Olympus. She looks smaller than she is, I assure you ;-)