Disappearing, re-envisioning & a new name for presence

No, you are not imagining things. I am writing my first blog entry in over two months. 

Where have I been? Being PRESENT, that's where! It is interesting that the more present I become the less time I have had for writing about presence. I have been so present lately that I have been wondering if it isn't time for a reinvention or transformation of this blog into something new -- maybe even just a new name to better suit this new journey I am on now back on my home of Prince Edward Island. I haven't come up with a definite name yet, so don't you worry. For the time-being RoutesofPresence is still alive and well!

I wanted to write this evening for a number for reasons. First because I miss you all --I miss your comments and thoughts and reflections and feedback.....Second because I have a lot of thoughts and reflections about life that I want to share with you. And third because I have been coming across a lot of very cool things lately that I think you might enjoy checking out.

Let's start with 1.

Over the last two and a half months I have gotten SO many notes about this blog. Messages that begin with "when are you going to write another blog entry?" or "what's happening with your blog -- I miss reading it" have been filtering into my inbox steadily, and I just want you to know how encouraging it is to know that you value reading my blog entries so much, and that they are helping you to reflect and shed light on your own paths in life. THANK YOU all!

Which leads me to 2.

I have been thinking about a lot lately. As you already know, I am a pretty thought-filled lady. And lately my thoughts have been having a field day running wild with dreams and hopes and big life questions that seem to give birth to even bigger life questions the more I think about them.

Some of the things I have been thinking about are:
1. How do I learn to trust in God's Will more? How do I bring my life so in line with God's Will that I no longer struggle with where I am in life but happily and gracefully embrace my current reality, recognizing that whatever is happening is EXACTLY what needs to be happening for me to be learning whatever it is that I need to be learning at any given moment?

Yes, that was just one of the questions I have been asking myself lately. Your thoughts would be greatly appreciated as I have (not surprisingly) not come up with a satisfactory answer to this one yet ;-)

Another question I have been thinking about lately has to do with love and family. I feel deeply ready to be in a relationship with a man and to be raising a family together. So much so that I notice myself not really moving into the little apartment that I am currently inhabiting. At first I thought I was not really settling in because I kept expecting to have some part of my legal or work visa situation not work out, and to have to move again before I had really settled in.....but over the last couple of months I have realized that what is really going on is that while I feel deeply blessed to be in this little apartment, I am ready to be sharing my space with someone else. I no longer want to have everything the way I have always had it. I may struggle to adapt when I finally do get to share my space with another person but I am ready to struggle and adapt and come face-to-face with another person's way of doing and seeing things even when it is tough. I am ready to create a "we" space. To have crayons all over the living room floor. To share my bathtub with another person. To cook for two or three or four people instead of just one. To read bedtime stories and sing lullabies and trip over toys left in the middle of the floor. I am also ready to hold someone and be held. To make love. To have another person to share thoughts or ideas with before I fall asleep at night and when I wake up in the morning. To pray with. And to discuss the Baha'i and other religious and spiritual writings with. I have always really valued my alone time, and in many ways I still do, but I am noticing myself wanting to spend more and more time with others and less and less time alone, and I think this is another indication that I am ready to share my space and time. There is a quote that I read once about a potted plant needing to shatter its vessel if it was going to continue living and thriving, and this metaphor is resonating with me deeply right now. I am ready to shatter whatever is limiting my life from embracing and finding union with the life of another soul.

Maybe I should share the thoughts and reflections gradually so I don't overwhelm you. Some pretty intense stuff going on in this head and heart these days -- most of it positive -- but nevertheless rather heavy. Isn't presence lovely? ;-)

I think it's time for 3.

I have been coming across A LOT of very cool stuff lately. Poems, stories, photographs, videos.....you name it, I have been engaging with it! I will share a few of these things with you below and save some for my next entry -- an incentive you write again soon!

Cool things to check out:

1. This video is the coolest thing I have come across lately. It is an incredible conversation between rural and urban, young and old, east and west, and so much more. It is also about sense of place, belonging, love, home, and community. I am posting the link instead of embedding it because it is a vimeo movie.

http://vimeo.com/48987560

2. A thanksgiving recipe from the Glowbal Group for

PUMPKIN SPICE AND EVERYTHING NICE – A CRÈME BRÛLÉE RECIPE

Link to the recipe: http://www.glowbalgroup.com/pumpkin-spice-and-everything-nice-a-creme-brulee-recipe/

If you try this recipe out let me know how it goes. It looks like a little bit of heaven in a cup to me!

3. This very cool transformation of a lightbulb. I found the photo on Pinterest but it originally comes from images.picsy.com. 

 Pretty cool, eh?

4. Ok. One more thing for this evening and THEN I promise to give you a moment to absorb all of this.....



This watch MUST have been designed by an Italian or a Greek. It made me smile when I saw it. I have added it to my very short wish list of totally unnecessary material possessions that it would bring me great pleasure to own since my own watch is heading towards its last days on this planet.

That's all from me tonight, friends! Hope you're all having a great week, and just in-case I do not get around to writing again this weekend, I wish all of you residing north of the Canadian-US border a happy Canadian Thanksgiving!