By heart

"God doesn't give you the people you want. He gives you the people you need. To help you, to hurt you, to leave you, to love you, and to make you the person you were meant to be." 

I found the above quote here. Not sure who said it, but today it is resonating, so I thought I would share it with you. I have been thinking a lot lately about the people who have influenced my life in positive ways. Most of these people are still in my life. A few of them are not -- they came through and headed on down a path that did not include me; I headed off in a direction that they did not understand; some have passed away, so they are still a part of my community spiritually, but no longer physically, and some friendships just fade as inexplicably as they arrived.

I have been thinking a lot about a friend of mine who has not been in my life for many years now, but who I still think often enough that when I read the quote at the top of the page, he immediately came to mind. It is his birthday this week, and as often happens with people whose lives touch me deeply, even long after they are no longer around, I find myself slowing down every year on his birthday and giving thanks for the positive ways he has influenced who I am. For the gifts he brought. The laughter. For opening my heart in new ways. Rarely do I thank God for bringing someone into my life to hurt me or leave me, so this quote is giving me pause to reflect on how having this man both leave and hurt me has helped push me further towards being the person I am meant to be.

It is one of life's many hidden blessings that it is rarely the people who are mere acquaintances, the people who do not really matter to us; who pass by without staying long enough to form lasting bonds--that hurt us. Usually those who hurt us most are those we love the most. Those we have allowed ourselves to be vulnerable with. Whose presence in our lives feels essential. It is a blessing because although it hurts, usually there has been enough love shared in these relationships that we do not, or can not simply write them off. Whether we mend the relationship or walk away, the pain and loss that we experience in these relationships make us pause to listen, because we know there are important life lessons in this kind of pain if we tune in to them and use them to grow.

Today I was thinking about this one particular friend, and how much losing his presence in my life has influenced who I am today. I often see this from the perspective of who I would have been if he were still in my life, but I think that many of the things I am most proud of being today -- honest, affectionate, faithful, committed, true to my heart, respectful of myself and others, prayerful, consistent, devoted, strong-hearted and independent, graceful, and loving others for who they are rather than who I want them to be -- are things I have become since my friend let go of our friendship in order to stay true to his dreams and heart. Sometimes losing those we love helps us to become the person we are meant to be.

Life is so rich in comings and goings. In knowing when to take risks, when to fight for something, when to let go gracefully, and when to love with everything in our hearts. Today I am feeling grateful for my friend. For the joys he brought when he was in my life, and the gifts he gave me by leaving.

And you friends? Have you given thanks today for those whose paths have crossed your own and kept going? For the beauty of that point of meeting, and the direction, texture and purpose that your life has developed since you headed off in different directions?

 

This is a recording of Eva Cassidy singing I Know You By Heart, a favourite song of mine, and one that always reminds me to be grateful for the gifts that everyone who passes through my life -- whether for a short or a long time--bring to my life. I am not a big fan of the video, but the sound quality on the recording is excellent.

Friday prayers for Japan

It is Friday afternoon, and I am curled up on my bed with the sun shining in on me warm and golden. I have reached the time of day past which I, for one, am completely brain dead from fasting all day. Some people do just fine with not eating or drinking from sunrise 'til sunset. Unfortunately, I am not one of those people. I notice my energy level drop by late morning, and from then on I am not good for much of anything that requires any degree of mental sharpness. I spent most of my Friday working on my Canadian taxes and student loan consolidation paperwork, which meant lots of number crunching, which used up my brain food early on.

Fortunately it is Friday, and it is almost 4pm, so I only have a little over two hours to go 'til I break my fast for the day. The fast, while physically challenging, is spiritually rejuvenating, and I also find that because I feel so tired, it makes me slow way down. Slowing down makes me reflect more deeply, and notice details that I otherwise might not notice (and no, I am not referring to the detail work on the package of Green & Black's Maya Gold chocolate that is sitting on the table next to me, although I will admit that the chocolate was the first thing that my eyes passed over as I typed that).

I have been thinking about Japan all day. Some of you may not know this, but my work back on PEI was very interwoven with Japan because it was our main export market. While working for Springwillow Farms and Anne's PEI Farm, I farmed with many WWOOFers from Japan, and interacted with many business people who came to PEI to visit us and learn more about our agricultural products. Anne's PEI Farm actually has two main owners: Raymond Loo, and Kosaku Morita. Kosaku and his family are currently in Japan, and Raymond is traveling in New Zealand, on his way to Japan. In addition to the Japanese people that I met through work, there was a lovely group of Japanese pilgrims with me at the Baha'i World Centre last spring when I went on pilgrimage. I have also mentioned my dear friend Pascale many times in my blog. What I did not mention is that she had been living in Japan for the past few years, and only recently moved back to New Zealand to start her business. Her brother, his wife, and their child still live in Japan. So I have been thinking about Pascale a lot today, and the amount of upheaval that she has experienced over the last month, from losing her family home to the earthquake in Christchurch, to worrying about her brother and his family yesterday during the massive earthquake in Japan.

I have mentioned the round-the-world journal that I am working on with eleven of my friends a number of times in my blog. The journal miraculously reached New Zealand despite the earthquake, and Pascale has been recording her thoughts, ideas and inspiration in its pages through the aftermath of the Christchurch earthquake, and now through the earthquake in Japan. While I would feel profoundly affected by the devastation in Japan regardless of whether the journal existed or not, its existence is connecting the eleven women scattered around the globe together in new ways. It is making us more conscious of the on-the-ground details of what is happening in other places around the world, and at the same time reminding us that those "other places around the world" are actually home to people just like us, who happen to be going through an overwhelmingly challenging time right now.

As the Japanese reel from the havoc wreaked on their homeland. As they feel fear of aftershocks. As they locate loved ones who were missing, or are forced to deal with the death of family members and friends, maybe we could all slow down a little bit and say a prayer for them as our fellow human beings. Throughout what promises to be a gloriously sunny and blue-skied weekend, maybe we could pause and acknowledge that what is happening to them could just as easily be happening to us in the community that we call home. I don't think it matters how you pray. Silently or out loud. If you sing it or whisper it into the evening. Just send some positive energy rippling over the waters to our brothers and sisters in Japan.

On that note I will leave you. I have to put together some prayers for a devotional gathering tonight with a bunch of friends. I am thinking of suggesting that the theme be healing and supportive prayers for Japan. As you move through your weekend, slow down and notice the seemingly small details that bring you joy. The branches starting to bud or blossom. The reflection of sky on the wet pavement. Melting snow. A misty moon. The sound of migrating birds headed north. The feeling of holding someone you love close. Making a friend or family member laugh. The taste of a hot cup of Darjeeling tea. The little joys that you have that make your life beautiful. You never know when you will lose your home, or your job, or those you love. Take the time to savour this moment. To appreciate your blessings. Have a great weekend!