Snowy Friday

Last night I attended a junior youth gathering at the home of a good friend of mine. The Baha'i junior youth program is open to youth between the age of 12 and 15, and is intended to give this special age group the space and opportunity to develop their power of expression and articulation in a supportive environment. There is an emphasis on social justice and community service, and the participants often take part in activities that are of service to the community.

The group that I joined last night begin every Friday session by cooking supper and then enjoying a meal together. Last night we made a big pot of apple and vegetable soup and sandwiches. The group is composed of two islanders islanders, a young woman from Yemen, three from Taiwan, one from The Philippines, one from South Korea, one from Kuwait and one from Vietnam. All together in the kitchen, some of us chopping, some of us washing vegetables, some of us stirring at the stove, some of us setting the table, we are a rainbow of cultures and backgrounds--a miracle really that we are all working together with joy and laughter and few disagreements or misunderstandings. Sitting around the table enjoying our steaming bowls of soup, the room filled with jokes and laughter. With so much in the news about disunity and prejudice, watching how seamlessly the youth melted into a single group impressed me.

After supper we divided into two groups, the older youth joining me in one room, and the younger group joining Sara, the youth from Kuwait in another room. The group I was facilitating last night made collages inspired by a quote that likened a mirror to the human soul, explaining that if clean and free from dust, a mirror can easily radiate the brilliant light of the sun, but if allowed to collect dirt and dust, its innate ability to reflect light is diminished. We discussed the ways in which we can keep our "mirrors" clean and able to reflect light, and then attacked the pile of magazines in the middle of the room and started creating a visual representation of how we can nurture the qualities and actions in our lives that keep our lives full of light.

It had started snowing in the afternoon, and by the evening it was snowing steadily, the streets of Charlottetown blanketed in a thick, soft layer of ice crystals. Sitting in our little circle with scissors and magazines chatting away as we worked, I felt deeply content and happy to be with this group of young people--to be learning with them and from them. Before the end of the night we shared our collages, each person explaining the significance of every image they had chosen, and how the image would remind us to keep our mirrors polished and reflecting light brilliantly.

At the end of the night we swept the layer of snow off of the car roof and windows and bundled in. It was my first time to drive in snow in a two years, and I took it slow. There is something otherworldly about driving down white streets at night. Everything seems dreamlike and surreal. After I had dropped everyone off and made it home and into bed I lay awake for a long time reflecting on what a great night it had been, and how much joy it is to spend my Friday nights with such a diverse group of people creating together, sharing conversation about social and spiritual transformation, cooking and enjoying food together and enjoying the white light flooding in the big windows from the snowy night outside.

Joy like water

This past spring I spent two weeks in the Dominican Republic helping to build a drinking water system in a rural, organic cocoa-farming community. It was a life-changing experience, but we had some pipes burst when we first turned the water on, and it took so long to fix the pipes that the group I was volunteering with ended up having to leave before the village we were staying in turned on their water taps, so we did not get to see the reaction of our hosts to having running water.

The pipes were fixed this summer, but I did not feel a sense of closure on the project until I received this photo, first thing this morning:

Followed by this photo:

Aren't they pure joy? Seeing these women, who welcomed us into their homes with such contentment on their faces gives me more joy than I felt the entire trip, and that is saying something, because I had a sublime two weeks in the Dominican Republic. When we left, the main satisfaction I felt was my own -- knowing that I had contributed to the process of making sure that the cocoa farmers would have clean drinking water. Knowing I had done my best. And of course the sheer enjoyment of the process of all that hard physical work we did, the incredible landscapes, and getting to know the local communities and my fellow volunteers. It was satisfying, but the satisfaction was all on a personal level.

Seeing these photographs is satisfying on a whole different level. This was the reason we went. To contribute to improving the quality of life for the people who produce the delicious cocoa that we all love so. People who welcomed us into their homes, and made us feel so much a part of the community while we were in La Laguna. Seeing their joy completes the circle. Contributing to the happiness of others really is the best, isn't it?

Wishing you a lovely Thursday, friends!  

Didn't ask for this

Our childrens' class at Bosch Baha'i School, and our miniature flower garden

  "O SON OF SPIRIT! I created thee rich, why dost thou bring thyself down to poverty?  Noble I made thee, wherewith dost thou abase thyself?  Out of the essence of knowledge I gave thee being, why seekest thou enlightenment from anyone beside Me?  Out of the clay of love I molded thee, how dost thou busy thyself with another?  Turn thy sight unto thyself, that thou mayest find Me standing within thee, mighty, powerful and self-subsisting." ~Baha'u'llah~

Wednesday mornings I have a writing date with a close friend who lives on Salt Spring Island in British Columbia. We usually write together for about an hour, share what we have come up with, and then are off on our merry ways, busily engaging with the rest of our days. I usually work on a poem or a short story that I am working on. But it has been a rough week, and I felt like doing some reflection, so we both wrote for a 45 minutes, shared and reflected, wrote for another 45 minutes, and then did some further reflection.

I spent the weekend in Santa Cruz teaching a children's class for 3-5 year olds. I drove down on Friday, and got home Monday night. The past few weeks I have applied for quite a number of jobs, and received a number of those letters that make me cringe. The "thank you for your application. We had many qualified applicants apply for this position, and therefore regrettably have to inform you..." variety. I was feeling so frustrated last week that I had actually had a "chat" with God, explaining to Him that I needed a sign of some kind that I was in fact still headed in the right direction, and I gave Him 'til Sunday night to send me some kind of guidance. If the idea of giving God deadlines amuses you, I am not surprised. Let's just say that I have reached the farthest reaches of my job hunting endurance, and wanted to be ultra clear with the universe that I am in great need of some guidance.

I headed off to Santa Cruz feeling lighthearted. A little apprehensive about teaching 3-5 year-olds, since it is not an age group I have much experience with, but lighthearted nonetheless. When I offered to serve, I had expected to be set up with kids over 6, which is what I have experience with. I had contemplated calling back and mentioning that perhaps there was some mistake -- surely they would prefer someone with more experience with such a young age group. But a little voice in me responded to my own objections with the obvious fact that when you offer service, you are offering to do what is needed, not what you would most like to do, so I decided to swallow my apprehension and hope for the best.

It was a perfect day for driving, and I had decided that I was going to leave a little early and head down to San Francisco to have a cup of tea at Samovar, my favourite tea house, on my way to Santa Cruz. I had good tunes on the radio, I had snacks, and I was feeling great about getting out of the city. About 2/3 of the way down to the city I hit the weekend traffic. After about 30 minutes of crawling down the highway, I realized that if I drove all the way into the city at that rate, I would arrive in Santa Cruz late, and I had made a plan to sit down with my co-teacher to plan out our classes that evening. Slightly irritated, I abandoned my plan of making it to Samovar, and instead typed the address at Bosch Baha'i School in Santa Cruz into my GPS.

As soon as I changed my destination, and headed off in a new direction, the traffic lessened, and I actually arrived in Santa Cruz early. Ready for a break from the car, I parked on one of the side streets in downtown Santa Cruz, found myself a coffee shop, and settled into a chair in an outdoor patio area with a cool drink to enjoy the lovely afternoon sunlight, the college students roaming up and down the sidewalk, and the live music that was happening just down the street. When I finished my drink, I headed back towards my car. As I was about to get into it, I looked up and noticed that I had parked right in front of a clothing store that sold my kind of stuff -- classy looking, elegant, artsy, soft fabrics and uneven, handmade-looking items. I knew I shouldn't go in, because I am trying to be ultra careful about my expenditures at the moment, but I slipped in anyway. My initial thoughts on the place were correct. There were many things in the shop that I loved. But one thing stood out to me -- a crocheted cream-coloured summer scarf with crocheted roses stitched to it unevenly along its length. Knowing I should not be spending the money right now, I told myself to think about it over the weekend, and come back and get it on Monday if I still thought it was a good buy. I peeled myself away from the scarf, and set off on the winding ascent through the redwood forest, to Bosch.

Bosch is a very special place. Nestled in amongst the towering redwoods, the campus used to be a winery that was donated to the Baha'is to use as a school and conference centre. The accommodations are beautiful wooden cabins scattered beneath the canopy of trees. I have been to Bosch a number of times in the last six months as a guest, and was accommodated in the winterized cabins, complete with shower and toilet. This time however, I was informed that since it was a full session, and I was volunteering, I would be staying in a summer cabin at the other end of the campus, and sharing the toilet and bath house with all the surrounding cabins. My cabin mate was a woman from the bay area who would be working with the junior youth group over the weekend. That first night, we settled in only to realize that it was really cold. I got up to turn up the heat, which I had been told was located in all cabins on campus. Unfortunately I had not asked where the thermostat to turn it up was located, and perhaps because it was late, neither myself or my roommate could locate it, so we went back to bed, layering up to stay warm. You would think that after six years in Canada, I would have mastered the art of layering, but unfortunately I was still cold, and at 2am I finally got up and launched a second hunt for the heating system. I finally found it, and by 6, just as my alarm went off, the room was feeling toasty warm.


The next morning I was tired. But I figured it was nothing that a hot shower couldn't fix. I gathered up my stuff and headed over to the bath house to find a line of four women ahead of me for the two, already occupied showers. At first glance, I thought that the long line would mean being late, but as it turned out, everyone took short showers, and the extra time standing in line gave us all a chance to get to know each other a lot better than if we had all had showers in our cabins.

I headed off to meet the nine children that we had been entrusted with for the weekend. The following three days flew by. We made prayer beads with the kids, and crowns of nobility, and paintings that the class sold to raise money for the Baha'i fund. We planted flowers outside in the garden. We played games. We dealt with meltdowns and accidents, washed hands and faces, pushed kids on swings, held them on the monkey bars, encouraged them down the slide, walked with them in the forest, ate snacks with them, cleaned up spilled juice, and learned songs with them. At the talent show on the last night the kids all got up on the stage with us to sing their favourite song in front of everyone. I had known that the kids would teach me far more than I would contribute to their lives, but I ended the weekend feeling utterly exhausted, deeply humbled, and happier than I had felt in a long time, all at once.

The night before I left Bosch, my computer, which was filled with all the writing I have been working on over the last year (and not backing up), died. It died on the night I had given to God as the deadline for getting an answer to my question about whether I was on the right path, and yes, I see the irony in this situation far more clearly than I would like!

On Monday morning I woke up feeling tremendously discouraged at the prospect of having just lost masses of my writing, and the reality that I cannot even consider purchasing a new computer right now. Still, we finished up our program, the children were happy, and their parents were very pleased with everything their children had been working on over the weekend. Not wanting to face the reality of job hunting without a computer, I decided to go see how much our class had raised with their artwork. Only a couple of paintings had not been claimed, and the donation box was well-stuffed with bills. I was pleased for the kids that all their hard work had generated such a great response. I headed up to the flower garden that we had planted with the kids, concerned that it might not have survived the night after stories of local deer that eat anything and everything in their pathway. As I came up over the hill, I found our garden fully intact, our sunflowers standing tall and happy. I watered the garden, reflecting on how many blessings the weekend had brought.

I packed up my car, and started off towards home. About twenty minutes into my drive I had the urge to drive into San Francisco and go to Samovar tea house before heading back to the valley. Usually overcast and chilly, I arrived in San Francisco on a bright, sunny afternoon. The Yerba Buena park was green and lush, church bells were clanging, and the tea house was all light, its doors flung open, and people relaxing on couches outside on the patio as well as inside. I settled at a table facing the windows and started reading my novel, while sipping on a cup of their delicious masala chai. Part way through my visit I noticed a bird that kept flying in through the open door, gathering up crumbs from the floor, and then flying out again. I looked up and noticed that the man sitting at the table next to me was watching the bird too. Going back to our books, a few minutes later I noticed a couple sitting opposite me who were sitting less than a foot away from each other, snapping photos of each other across the table. The image, slightly comical, made me laugh, and as I did so, I noticed the fellow next to me smiling as well. We started talking, and it turned out that he had a PhD in computer sciences, and was a genius with Macintosh computers. He proceeded to give me a step by step description of everything I needed to do to try to save the data on my hard drive. After having spent the day rather irritated with the universe for allowing my computer to crash before I found a job, I had to again recognize that irony of the situation, and the obviousness of that fact that this fellow's presence at the table next to mine on the very day that I needed help with my computer was no coincidence.

I arrived back home Monday night to find an email in my inbox from Karen at Chookooloonks, a fantastic blog that I follow, informing me that I had won her Thursday giveaway -- a Kenyan scarf by Nest, a non-profit organization that empowers female artists and artisans around the world. I thought back to the scarf that I had walked away from in Santa Cruz so reluctantly, and again, had to smile at the logic of the universe.

Last night a whole group of friends came over to study the Baha'i holy writings with me. I was still feeling exhausted from my trip, and felt more like crawling into bed with a good book than entertaining. As my friends filled the living room, excited to start studying, i could sense myself resisting what was happening around me. Most of the class passed in a blur, until, at a certain point, we read a line about how to behave in Baha'i Houses of Worship. The text, from the Kitab-i-Aqdas, explained that when visitors enter the houses of worship, they should seat themselves, and, in silence, listen to the words of God (paragraph 115, Kitab-i-Aqdas). The group discussed how, usually when we enter a House of Worship, we sit down and immediately begin to pray, and how different this approach is to that of entering and being silent, and listening to God. We discussed what listening meant, and what we were listening for, and how what we were really listening to was not something external, but rather a spirit within ourselves.

Last night, after my friends left I sat down and said some prayers, and then decided to try to get my computer to start up one more time, so that I could try to get all of my data off of it. This time, despite the fact that it had not started up for four days, my computer went on immediately, and stayed on until I had everything that I needed off of the hard drive. Again, the obviousness of Divine assistance was very clear.

Today I checked my email, and I had one message from an online travel site that I had sent a proposal into for an article that I would like to write about the Mediterranean, approving my proposal and giving me a date for my first draft. I think it was a sign, however small, that although none of my job applications have yielded an interview, my writing is being received well by those who I send it off to.

In my writing with my friend Ahava this morning, I decided to focus on the topic of listening, because it is a skill that I want to nurture and develop. Listening comes in many forms. I was realizing that over the past year I have been praying a lot for very specific things that I think are what are best for my life, but have not been getting many answers. What I have not been doing nearly enough of however is listening. Pure, openhearted listening. The kind of listening that need not involve ears, but very much requires opening the heart to receiving not what I want, but what God, or the universe thinks is best for me and for my community. The kind that involves showing up every day to serve the world around me, being receptive to whatever comes my way, and practicing gratitude for the many blessings and opportunities that come my way.

I didn't ask for not owning my own car when I left Canada last winter. I did not ask for having a computer that would die in the middle of my job hunt. Or having to be so careful about my spending that I could not get small gifts for myself and my friends here and there every now and then. But I also did not ask for the blessing of spending an entire weekend learning from nine 3-5 year-olds. Or winning a one of a kind scarf made by women in Kenya. Or getting free computer advice from a tech guardian angel in a tea house in San Francisco. I am learning that listening and receiving with grace takes some work. And that often the most rewarding experiences are the ones I am not expecting.

How do you practice listening in your life? Both the external kind, and the internal listening -- the kind that enables you to find Him standing within you, mighty, powerful and self-subsisting?

Believing in the door I do not (yet) see

"...your own knowledge that a certain event is to occur, or your desire that it should happen, is not and never can be the reason for its occurrence." -Baha'u'llah-

I am going through one of those periods in life where I am obviously supposed to be learning something very important. I know that I am going through one of those periods because I have set some very clear goals for what I want to be accomplishing, and so far no matter how hard I work at achieving them, none of them are materializing in the way that I had hoped. The biggest of these is supporting myself. Although I am not someone who has career goals like many of my friends, I am at a point in my life where it is very important to me to have full time, long-term, stable work. When I arrived in California last spring, my intention was to remain for a few months and then move to China or elsewhere for a while to work. But as I reflected, I realized that while my nomadic lifestyle has been amazing, and I do want to travel more, I am really ready to have a home to return to, and work that is ongoing. So I set my priority as finding life-giving work that I love and am passionate about, and have spent the past few months writing proposals for magazines, sending my resume to companies whose ethics reflect my own, and spending hours and hours job hunting.

I have never before placed my work as my priority in life, so this decision to stay put until I am certain that my next move will lead to stable and sustainable work has been a big one for me. Life has always been for living and enjoying, and although I have been fortunate to have work that I loved quite a bit in my life, opportunities have always seemed to come to me relatively easily. Sure -- I did work hard, but I always ran into the right person at the right time, and a job would materialize out of the conversation. So having made the commitment to pursue work that involves writing, and poured my energy into this effort for so long now with very little result thus far, the fact that I am feeling rather discouraged is not surprising. While the intention to pursue work that I am passionate about and love was one that my friends and family supported wholeheartedly when I started on this journey, many of them have started suggesting that maybe it would be a good idea to find work doing any old job to pay the bills -- at least until things start falling into place with my writing.

I am inclined to think that they are probably right. Maybe this whole writing idea is just not the right thing for me. Maybe I should go get an office job. Maybe I am just being stubborn. Maybe I need to get over the fact that what I think I want is not what God intends for me to do with my life. Maybe...but maybe it is time for me to learn that when you really want something in life, it requires some struggle. Maybe this is my time for learning how to dedicate myself to my dreams and not back down even when things aren't working out. It is easy to say "this is just not working...I give up." But it is harder to recognize that I am feeling uncertain and insecure and fearful. It is hard to face up to the reality that maybe the lessons I need to learn are not when to give up and go do something else, but how to be content with the things I have been given at this time in my life. How to recognize the small accomplishments. How to be patient with the fact that things do not seem to be going how I had hoped, and at the same time persevere in my job search. Because the truth is that while I have had to stop eating meals out, shopping and spending multiple days a week in coffee shops; have not been able to travel internationally for a while now, and have to borrow a car when I need to travel long distances, I have gotten to know many new friends since arriving here. I attend a devotional gathering every Friday night that is usually followed by a great evening of socializing. This Friday I looked around me and realized that there were 19 people in the room who I would now call good friends. Nineteen people that I did not even know this time last year. Last night, after returning from a full day of Baha'i activities in San Francisco, I was just too tired to go out gallery hopping with friends, and two other friends decided to come keep me company, and spent the evening chilling out and drinking tea and chatting. My parents have very generously offered me a place to live until I figure stuff out, and I currently have a lot of free time that I am using to volunteer on a local farm helping to educate children and youth about how food is grown, why the environment is so vitally important, and how a personal relationship with the land changes one's perspective on life completely. I have time to cook meals for my parents who are working very hard, and come home tired. I have more time to read books and educate myself about new areas of agriculture and free-trade products; I have more time to write friends hand-written notes, and I have more time to pray and meditate. I am not doing what I think I should be doing, but I am doing quite a lot, and I have a great deal to be grateful for. 

I have been thinking a lot about how important it is to find a balance between my dreams and desires and the will of God. We all want things in life. My dear friend Pascale just started her own business as a personal trainer in New Zealand, only to have her entire city destroyed by an earthquake leaving few people with extra funds to hire personal trainers. My friend Alanna back on PEI had applied for, taken multiple exams for, and been offered a year-long job posting in France that she was very excited about, only to be told a month before she was due to leave that those hiring her had not realized that they should not have even allowed her to interview for the position because it would be a demotion, and they had no mechanism for demotions of higher-paid employees. I imagine that those in Japan who just lost loved ones, property, agricultural fields, and livelihoods had other things in mind for their lives. But ultimately it is our will versus a larger Will. What we want versus what is best for us. How we think we would best be of service to the world versus how the world needs us to be of service.

I have yet to figure it all out, but I do have a sense that learning to put my will into line with a larger will gracefully, energetically, courageously, and with perseverance, enthusiasm, contentment and humility may just be a greater priority right now. And who knows. Maybe practicing bringing my will into line with His Will more is the element that is not yet in place. Perhaps shifting my understanding and perspective will make a door appear that I had not previously noticed. Obviously, I cannot know for sure. I am focusing on continuing to move forward with faith that something unexpected could very likely be right around the next corner. As my friend Ahava said before she left on the train, "anything is possible." 

Happy hands and rubber boots

Farming in the youth garden at Soil Born Farms

I started volunteering at Soil Born Farms on a bright, clear, sunny day this past week. I have been missing being out on farmland tremendously, and so when I heard that Soil Born was open to having volunteers, I got on the phone and asked if I could come over. Their response was enthusiastic, so I found myself in their youth garden in my rubber boots, clearing weeds from the paths between vegetable beds on a lovely February morning.

There is a lot to do to get the garden into great shape for another full summer. The fellow in charge of the education program explained that in addition to putting in vegetables and herbs, he wants to add a few raised beds so that youth who are in wheelchairs also get the opportunity to get their hands in the soil and experience the joy of farming. He is also thinking about adding a miniature aromatic raised bed so that blind youth can also come into the garden and experience the delicious smells of herbs and flowers. I am very excited about all of his ideas, and about the fact that this program is giving young people an opportunity to develop a relationship with the land and to learn more about where their food comes from. Farming is also such an empowering activity -- from the perspective of skills that it teaches, to the values it instills in those who engage in it, like confidence, courage, determination, consistency and patience.

After a morning of weeding, I joined the large group of friendly staff at Soil Born for a delicious lunch outside under a tree. We had red lentil soup with kale; red and green cabbage salad with cranberries and nuts; brown rice with currants; a potato, turnip and broccoli stir fry that way to die for, and fresh baked scones for dessert. Sitting outside at the picnic table in the sunshine with a group of great people enjoying food grown on the land all around us was terrific. And the fact that it was February was even more amazing to me.

After lunch I headed back to the garden with Guy to wait for the youth to turn up. Eight of them eventually wandered into the garden and settled themselves on tree log stumps that had been set up in a circle at one end of the garden. It was a very diverse group of African American, Asian, Latino and Caucasian youth. I was excited to see such a wealth of backgrounds and languages. I was introduced to the group, and we immediately got to work. The main task this day was learning to cook a healthy snack. We set up a burner outside in the garden and, after some instruction, the youth got to work preparing their snack using vegetables from the garden. A few mishaps later, we settled down in the sunshine to enjoy the fruit of their labour. Their verdict: fresh vegetables can taste good. Especially when cooked up with some spices and garlic, and accompanied by a bit of cheese!

The youth cooking healthy sandwiches using fresh vegetables from the youth garden

After our snack, the group started working on pulling some of the root vegetables from last season out of the earth and carrying them to the compost pile. After we had cleared these sections of the garden, we decided to go spend the time left by the American River, which runs right along the side of the farm, watching and learning about local birds, and learning to skip rocks! It was a mellow day. The youth were planning to go harvest fruit from trees in the yards of local residents over the weekend, so Guy was letting them have a bit of down time!

The main goal of this youth program is that the youth will be growing food that will go into a box program for low income residents in the area. The youth will learn to grow and harvest organic food. To cook healthy meals, and to give to their community by providing fresh produce to families that would otherwise not be able to afford it. Some of the youth in the group are new, while others have been participating or over a year now. 

The time rushed past, and before I knew it the day was over, and it was time to head back into the city. On my way back to my car I picked a fresh mandarin from a tree covered in bright orange fruit. It was sweet and juicy, and very refreshing after the full day outside. My conclusion: I am very, very excited to be working out on a farm again. I am so incredibly happy to have my hands back in the soil again, and just as excited to be working with youth. I feel as though this service is going to be a great learning opportunity, and I'm hoping that I contribute something to the lives of the youth in the group as I accompany them in their efforts to become agents of positive change in their community.

Reverb10, Day 28: Achieving economic prosperity

Prompt: Achieve. What’s the thing you most want to achieve next year? How do you imagine you’ll feel when you get it? Free? Happy? Complete? Blissful? Write that feeling down. Then, brainstorm 10 things you can do, or 10 new thoughts you can think, in order to experience that feeling today.

The author of this prompt is Tara Sophia Mohr:
The Women's Seder Sourcebook: Rituals & Readings for Use at the Passover Seder
@tarasophia

"The best of men are they that earn a livelihood by their calling and spend upon themselves and upon their kindred for the love of God." Bahá'u'lláh

"...cooperation, mutual aid and reciprocity are essential characteristics in the unified body of the world of being, inasmuch as all created things are closely related together and each is influenced by the other or deriveth benefit therefrom, either directly or indirectly." 'Abdu'l-Bahá

"Be anxiously concerned with the needs of the age ye live in, and centre your deliberations on its exigencies and requirements."  Bahá'u'lláh 

"...the implications of the law of Huqúqu'lláh for the realization of a number of the principles of the Faith, such as the elimination of the extremes of wealth and poverty, and a more equitable distribution of resources, will increasingly become manifest as the friends assume in ever greater measure the responsibility for observing it...this mighty law, a source of inestimable blessings for all humanity." The Universal House of Justice, Ridvan 2006, Huqúqu'lláh Compilation 2007, 104. 


Two words: Economic prosperity. No more scraping by. It was fine to have to fall back on my savings when I was in my twenties. It is no fun now that I am in my thirties. I have lots to offer the world, and I am prepared to work hard, but from now on I expect to be compensated accordingly. There are things that I would like to do with my life, such as raising children, paying off student loans, contributing to the Baha'i fund, buying a piece of land, and building a home. I do not want to live excessively, but I do want to know that I can provide for myself, and, someday, for my family. I feel strongly about being capable of being financially independent. I need to know that I can stand on my own two feet. As a Baha'i, I have a spiritual and moral responsibility as a member of the human race to be contributing to leveling out the current economic inequalities that exist between the wealthiest and the poorest members of our global community. I am not alright with the differences between my quality of life and the quality of life that I saw many people living in Cairo when I was there in 2006. And I know that the citizens of many countries, like Haiti, fair far worse. Achieving personal economic prosperity means I will have the freedom to contribute more generously to the many global efforts that are working to level out these inequalities. Economic prosperity has both material and spiritual implications. 

I imagine that being economically prosperous would mean that I would feel more peace of mind, because I would have the means at my disposal to be an agent of change at a level that I currently do not possess. Of course I always have my time and my skills, and I give of these whenever I can. But sometimes making things happen in life means having the material resources to do so. I also imagine that being economically more prosperous would mean feeling freer to travel, to pursue business ideas, to give to charities, and to attend family gatherings and important life events such as a close friend's wedding every now and then. Other states of being that I associate with economic prosperity are feeling less stressed, and more independent; possessing a greater degree of self-confidence, and having the ability to pursue a wider range of creative and educational projects that will benefit my community. 

So I am obviously not there yet. I have goals, and I am working towards them, but I have a ways to go before I will be able to be making large contributions to charities in Haiti. I will keep working towards my long term goals in the new year, but in the meantime, there are small things that I can do now to help me progress towards my goals. 

I have come up with a list of 10 things I can DO or THINK RIGHT NOW that will empower me, give me peace of mind, help release stress, and make me feel more independent and self-confident (most of the feelings I associate with financial prosperity). Hopefully some of these will inspire you on your path towards your own goal!  

1. Pray. Baha'u'llah, the founder of the Baha'i faith, says that our prayers have a profound effect on our lives, even if we cannot at first see the effect: 
"Intone, O My servant, the verses of God that have been received by thee,
as intoned by them who have drawn nigh unto Him,
that the sweetness of thy melody may kindle thine own soul,
and attract the hearts of all men. Whoso reciteth, in the privacy of his chamber,
the verses revealed by God, the scattering angels of the Almighty
shall scatter abroad the fragrance of the words uttered by his mouth,
and shall cause the heart of every righteous man to throb.
Though he may, at first, remain unaware of its effect, yet the virtue
of the grace vouchsafed unto him must needs sooner or later exercise
its influence upon his soul." -Baha'u'llah

2. Compile a list of positive affirmations and quotes. By repeating certain ideas or thoughts on a regular basis, they become an integral part of how I think. Two of my favourites, which I repeat to myself regularly, are:
"I give you a commandment which shall be for a covenant between you and me — that ye have faith; that your faith be steadfast as a rock that no storms can move, that nothing can disturb, and that it endure through all things even to the end;...As ye have faith so shall your powers and blessings be. This is the balance---this is the balance---this is the balance." -Abdu'l-Baha

and:

"The greatest divine bounty is a confident heart. When the heart is confident, all the trials of the world will be as child's play. Should they throw him into a prison, should they cast him into a black well, should they heap him all manner of afflictions, still his heart is content, peaceful, and assured." -Abdu'l-Baha

3. Do yoga. I was never into yoga. I have always thought that the only sports worth my attention were the vigorous ones that required considerable huffing and puffing, like running and gymnastics. But I am finding that yoga not only keeps my body strong (and sometimes very sore!!), it also does truly amazing things to my mind and heart. It helps me to keep my attention focused on my goals, which brings me closer and closer to achieving them. 

4. Pick the brains of people who are economically prosperous. I have been learning the immense value of role models lately. Surrounding myself with people who are where I want to be is a tremendous encouragement and learning experience. I may not have my dream job yet, but there are plenty of people living all around me who do. I just need to find them and flash my angelic smile ;-)

5. Give myself a break. I can be incredibly hard on myself. Every now and then, stopping and actually saying out loud "thank you for sharing that opinion/criticism/comment -- but personally I think I am a rock star," is always helpful. Anything that lightens the heart and makes me smile at myself is a positive step towards achieving my goals. I was just at an an exhibit of post-impressionists in San Francisco the other day, and was reflecting on the fact that Van Gogh only sold ONE painting during his lifetime, and he sold it to his own brother. I mean, really. How many famous people have stories like this? tonnes, that's how many.

6. Re-read Marianne Williamson's quote, made famous by Nelson Mandela. I won't quote it all here, but you will know what I am talking about by the this short piece: "We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, out presence automatically liberates others." If that does not make you feel hopeful, I do not know what will. Sheer genius, I tell you! 

7. Celebrate the small steps. Whenever I first start trying to work towards something, my goal feels really far off. Celebrating the small accomplishments along the way breaks up the distance between where I am standing right now and where I want to be standing. It also encourages me along the way! 

8. Talk to a friend. Friends are the best thing to ever walk the surface of the earth, in my opinion. Whenever I am feeling like none of my plans are going to work out, and as though I would be better off to crawl into bed and pull the covers over my head, I put in a call to a friend who points out all of my assets, and how much progress I have made, and how valuable my contribution to the world is, and the world suddenly gets much brighter. Works like a charm every time. 

9. Serve. Offering service is like a magic salve to any of life's problems. Serving others always makes me feel ten times better about my own life and capabilities. I feel peace of mind and heart, less stressed, and far more optimistic about what I have to contribute to the world. 

10. Have a little faith. Having faith when I am feeling shaky sometimes feels almost impossible, but when I push myself a little, and assure myself that if I have a little more faith, things will work out, I usually find that things start looking up. 
 
So there you have it! I will end this blog with a poem that lifts my spirits every time I read it. It is by Amatu'l-Baha Ruhiyyih Khanum:



THIS IS FAITH
To walk where there is no path
To breathe where there is no air
To see where there is not light-
This is Faith.

To cry out in the silence,
The silence of the night,
And hearing no echo believe
And believe again and again-
This is Faith.

To hold pebbles and see jewels
To raise sticks and see forests
To smile with weeping eyes-
This is Faith.

To say: "God, I believe" when others deny,
"I hear" when there is no answer,
"I see" though naught is seen-
This is Faith.

And the fierce love in the heart,
The savage love that cries
Hidden Thou art yet there !
Veil Thy face and mute Thy tongue
yet I see and hear Thee, Love,
Beat me down to the bare earth,
Yet I rise and love Thee, Love !"
This is Faith.