About Me

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Born in the US, raised on the Mediterranean island of Cyprus, lived in Italy, the US, and Canada. Lover of language, travel, colour, and the natural world.
Showing posts with label PEI. Show all posts
Showing posts with label PEI. Show all posts

Monday, May 14, 2012

Poppies, red raspberries & dreams

It is gratitude Monday, and this is what I am grateful for today.

1. My Spring view today in downtown Charlottetown while I walked the dog...


You know....instead of this


2. Friends that walk all the way across town to meet me for supper before turning around and going all the way back across town for an evening class.

3. The delicious meals I have had today, made using local beef, local potatoes, local carrots, and so much more. It is wonderful to live somewhere that has such a bountiful harvest.

4. Home made raspberry jam and almond butter on gluten free bread. Read: take raspberries, put them in a saucepan, turn the heat on, melt them down into liquid, spread thickly over almond butter while still warm. This is what it looks like when done:


Ok so I nibbled. YOU try not taking a bite of something that looks that good. I dare you. ;-)

4. My mother. It being mother's day on Sunday and my being so far away from her and all....She is a pretty awesome lady. I don't know how I would have gotten this far without her.

5. Public buses. Because I have had a pinched nerve in my leg/foot all weekend and have had a numb right foot and calf, which makes walking rather tiring. I especially love public buses here, and the way the drivers know every single one of their passengers, and wait when someone they know should be on the bus is not there.

6. Hot baths. Because after taking one everything that seemed just too much to tackle somehow seems doable again.

7. Friends who invite me to house sit as I will be doing for the second half of this week. I cannot wait to be in a home all by myself for a few days.

8. My work. Because even when it is tough and overwhelming, as it is right now,  it is never boring. I am always learning something new, and being challenged to improve my skills to better represent and promote my clients and their products/services.

9. My bed. You got it. The only thing between me and it right now is my computer. Time to sign off!

And you, friends? What are you grateful for on this Spring Monday? 

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

A picture's worth a thousand words


I have seen a tremendous amount of beauty in the last week. Walking through a snowstorm can be rough on the eyes, but being out there with the snow blowing every which way on the day that I took the photo above made me wonder why I don't go out in snowstorms more often. It is such a different experience when I am standing in the middle of the whirling snow than it is from behind a pane of glass. It is beautiful, but in a raw, humbling way. The distinction between my body and the air around me feel porous somehow standing out there exposed to the elements.


I walk down this street every day. this is the quickly melting aftermath of the previous photo. I love the icicles hanging from the eaves of this building. They can be rather brutal if you happen to be unfortunately to be walking beneath one of them when it decides to give in to the pull of gravity and let go, and in reality they are simply caused by bad insulation, but there is nevertheless something magical about them, don't you think?


I had a business meeting the other day with a client whose business is just off to the left of the edge of this photo. Walking down to the waterfront to meet him that morning I had the thought "I WORK HERE..." I get to see the deep blue of the Atlantic with the sun shining down on it every day. I get to meet with clients in a room flooded with the brilliance of light dancing off water. I mean, seriously. Can you imagine waking up to this every day?

Tuesday, April 3, 2012

Where I hang my heart


Yesterday was Gratitude Monday. Unfortunately it was also the final hurrah for the virus that has been clinging to me for dear life for the last week, so I was not up for my regular blog entry.  Tonight, having enjoyed a delicious home-cooked supper and some gluten free chocolate chip cookies still hot and soft from the oven, I am in much better shape for blogging :-).

The home-cooked meal, the cookies, and the heavenly bed I am lying in as I type this entry are all thanks to my good friends Ann and Stephen, who are, at this point, really more family than friends. It has been dawning on me lately that someone, somewhere in my extended family must have done something very, very right at some point, the effects on which are for some reason unknown to me manifesting themselves in my life in the form of exceptionally good fortune in the friend department. I am certain that Ann and Stephen will be simply thrilled that I have chosen this photo of us to post. Fortunately I am equally certain that they will forgive me by tomorrow morning -- it isn't in their genes to be irritated long.

Since returning to PEI a number of my friends have had me sleeping in their homes so much that it really is a miracle that they haven't had a restraining order taken out against me yet. The friends in the photo above are two such people. Although I did, for the record, move into an apartment a few weeks ago, when I came down with the virus that I have been fighting for the past ten days, Ann and Stephen suggested that I come stay at their place for a few days until I was feeling better. Little did they know that I would still be here five days later. Still.... after five days of good food, a cozy bed, hot baths and lots of hot tea and sleep, I am finally feeling a lot better, and am planning on moving back to my current home tomorrow afternoon.

As I was walking back to Ann and Stephen's house yesterday afternoon that old saying "home is where you hang your heart" came to mind, and I realized that Prince Edward Island is home because of the exceptional people living here who have opened their hearts and homes to me. And then I realized that in reality exceptional people are not exceptional here at all. Since returning to the island everyone I meet has been exceptional. Strangers help me out or offer a kind word on a regular basis. The public bus driver worries when I am not on the bus. People give me discounts or do not charge me knowing that I am living on a tight budget until I find full time work. People offer rides when I am tired. Friends turn up to walk with me when I take the dog that I am currently walking as a job for her daily walk when they can tell I am not feeling well. Friends invite me over to supper. Friends help me get to the doctor. Someone offers me paid work for the day at the farmer's market. Friends invite me into their homes to give me the chance to rest and heal when I am sick. I am surrounded by so many exceptionally kind and loving people that it has become the norm.

Many people have asked me why I moved back to Prince Edward Island after having left two years ago. Many of my friends do not really understand how I could choose this seemingly remote island in the north Atlantic over the sunshine state of California. I love islands because they are small and tightly knit. Everyone knows everyone else. Because there are so few people, every single person is important to the health and well being of the community. This means a greater degree of responsibility  on the one hand, but also a greater sense of mutual support and recognition of interconnectedness on the other. It should be this way everywhere, and some day I am sure it will be. For my part I am just grateful to know what it means to belong to a place and community. To want to be an active, responsible, engaged member of this island family. To love and know, without having to ask, that the love is coming right back at me. And to be certain in my core that I have a place and a valuable role to play on this vast and infinitely beautiful planet earth.

Saturday, March 3, 2012

Wind, ramblings & a 2nd day of fasting

It is late Saturday night. I am sitting on the single bed in the apartment that I just moved into a couple of days ago. It is exceptionally quiet. Walking back into my bedroom tonight I feel a sense of relief to be entering a space that will probably remain the same for at least a couple of months. Since arriving on Prince Edward Island two months ago I have been moving back and forth between the homes of various friends -- trying to not overstay my welcome in any one place, just staying long enough to start remembering whether I should leave the toilet seat up or down, which burner on the stove I should not use, or which direction the cutlery should go into the dishwasher before I would move again and have to adjust my patterns to a new household. Don't get me wrong -- living with my friends has been awesome. Truly. Not only have a been staying in homes that are comfortable and cozy, filled with beautiful artwork, but I have gotten to come home at the end of every day and enjoy the company of people I love. But despite all of this, I have to say that it is nice to have my own space for a change -- even if it is almost completely empty.

The room that is currently home is bigger than any bedroom I have ever had before. One of my best friends loaned me a single bed, a table and a chair. I took a plastic box that I found in the cupboard and put it next to my bed as my bedside table, and another friend loaned me a little lamp. One end of the room is an enormous closet -- so big that I can literally get dressed inside of it (yes, I have tried). I arrived two days ago with one suitcase, a backpack, and a bag of food. It took me an hour to unpack my two pairs of jeans, one skirt, two dresses, four pairs of shoes, two sweaters, and ten shirts. Sitting on my bed looking around the room I feel a mixture of emotions: profound gratitude to the friend who asked her aunt if I could live in her spare bedroom for free for a couple of months while I continue to search for full-time work, and to her aunt who actually agreed; amazement that I am still here despite the reality that I have less money than I have ever had my entire life; disoriented in this large room with four white walls and almost no furniture; uncertainty about how I got here when only two months ago I was sitting in an overly-furnished room in my parents' home in northern California; and an equal amount of terror over my current reality and vulnerability, and deep-rooted certainty and faith that things are going exactly as they should be, and that I just need to put my trust in God and keep trying my hardest.

The last few weeks have been a whirlwind of activity. I have stayed at five different houses; trekked through deep snow; been blown along the sidewalk by freezing wind; eaten meals in restaurants, homes, bars, and coffee houses; seen foxes running across a frozen river at dusk; woken to the sound of frozen rain against the glass of my windows; met with at least fifty different people and given them my resume; reverted to my legs as my primary mode of transportation; started helping with a youth group; contacted complete strangers about pet-sitting, babysitting, cleaning, and any other cash-making venture that I could come up with; watched every single one of my recently-arrived-on-the-island friends get interviews and job offers; started doing social media for Timothy's coffee house and Lobster on the Wharf for free; continued doing social media work for two other companies; created my own social media business website; studied books about social media marketing; been given so many people's house keys that I have to wade through fist-fulls of them to find the ones to my current apartment; gotten locked out of my current apartment because my new set of keys would not open my door and my friend's aunt was asleep in bed; developed a crush on a man who slept through what I had thought was going to be our first date; hosted my first musical devotional gathering; cooked supper for friends in many different houses; enjoyed many, many excellent cups of tea at the farmer's market in the company of awesome friends on Saturday morning after Saturday morning; learned to walk my friends' dogs and pick up (and discard) dog shit (an activity I had assured my friends years ago that I would NEVER engage in); made a snow angel; enjoyed many, many meals/coffee dates with people I love; had my bank balance fall below 30 dollars for the first time in my entire life; learned to love almond butter on toast; taken a bus from downtown out to the farm I used to work before dawn, on and spent the day baking gluten-free muffins with my former employer's mother in the farmhouse kitchen; destroyed almost every pair of shoes I brought here with me in the salty slush on the roads; read the book The Help. Read the book The Memory Keeper's Daughter. Lay in bed listening to the wind howling around the building (as I am tonight); wondered how I got back here and whether the universe is going to allow me to stay, or if every effort I make to find work here will end in another dead-end; wondered where I will go if I have to leave here at the end of April...and these are only SOME of the things that have happened in the past few weeks.

Today was the second day of the Baha'i Fast. I woke before dawn, ate almond butter toast and sat in the silence of the half-light before sunrise praying and reading from the Baha'i writings before deciding to go back to bed for a couple more hours. I am trying to remain present and conscious of the preciousness of these days i am immersed in. Spiritually the fast is, according to the Baha'i writings, generating power that will be reverberating through my life for the entire rest of the year. It is hard to remember that every hour has a special significance, but when I do it helps me to slow down and be aware of how precious every moment of these 19 days of fasting is. I have always thought of the Fast as being from sunrise til sunset, but this Fast I am realising that even the hours when I am eating during this period count as part of the Fast. Even sitting here now typing with the wind howling outside I am trying to be aware of the significance of this night, this hour, and that I will be up again in six hours preparing for another day of Fasting. 

It is almost midnight, and time to get some rest before the third dawn of the Fast. Outside wind pressing around the building. In here the sound of my fingers moving across the keys, my own breathing, the creak of floor boards as someone walks across the floor above.

Thursday, December 29, 2011

Island girl

As I sit and write this entry, the wind is howling around the house outside. I arrived on Prince Edward Island last night a little after midnight. You know when you were so excited about something as a child that you could not *wait* to get to whatever it was that you were so revved up about? That would have been me when I climbed down the stairs from the plane out onto the island last night, and made like a mad woman for the doors into the arrival area. My dear friends Paul and Alanna were there waiting for me...they had stayed up to come get me from the airport. We bundled into their car and came back to their home for hot tea and a long chat that kept us up into the early hours of the morning.

Last night I lay in bed and watched the sky through the windows--lit up by the brightness of winter. The wind blew and blew, and I lay awake for a long time thinking to myself how good it was to hear the power of the winter wind again.

Eventually I fell asleep, and woke this morning, got ready, and headed out with my dear friend Alanna to get breakfast at a local greasy spoon that was jam-packed with islanders. It was the perfect way to start the day. Alanna is one of those friends who I can talk to for hours and hours, and we somehow never run out of things to share. We share stories, thoughts, ideas, fears, dreams, and most of all lots and lots of laughter. I have been laughing all day long. Our breakfast lasted three hours. When we finally dragged ourselves out of the booth we had taken up residence in, we decided to head out to the house she recently bought in the country to have tea. It was a migrating conversation if you will! We bundled up and headed outside into the icy wind, hobbling across the icy patches of the parking lot and jumping into the car, all giggles and joy. There is something about truly freezing weather that you just have to laugh about. Today it was -18 windchill, which, if you live in California, is bloody cold, but not nearly as cold as it can get here in the middle of winter.

We headed out to her home in the country. The road had ice and snow all along it, so we drove slowly, giddy with the excitement of the day and with our little escape from the reality of the world for a full day. We finally reached the turning for the house, turned in past the little mailbox, and drove up the dirt driveway to the house. The home she and her husband just bought is a rather old house, and has all the charm of a small, storybook house out in the country. It has a barn and a few tiny cottage-like buildings on the property, wood floors, lots of windows that look out across the fields to the west, and a wood-burning stove. Alanna immediately got to work stoking the stove, and got a fire going while I made tea. We brought two chairs in front of the stove and sat down to our steaming mugs of sweet almond tea. The sky through the windows that stretched along the whole western wall stretched out in bands of rose and violet. The earth was dark with shadow and dampness. Reeds outside the window rustled hollowly against the panes of glass. It was so peaceful. Alanna and I talked and laughed, sipped our tea, and warmed our hands by the heat of the fire. It was such a magical evening. As the last light was fading we decided it was time to head back to town to get some groceries and then go back to her house where I had promised to cook Alanna and Paul a hot, belly-filling supper.

I cooked pasta with mushroom red sauce sprinkled with cheese, and salad. It was a simple but hearty meal-- the kind of meal that is perfect on a cold night in December. The company was excellent. The wind howled outside. After supper I made tea, and we sat around the table getting caught up on work that each of us needed to get done. Now I am sitting here alone. Alanna and Paul have headed to bed. The wind is still howling. I find it calming in a familiar sort of way. The sound of an old friend whispering a poem I have heard many times--one that slows my heartbeat and assures me that everything--everything is exactly as it should be in this moment. Such is the song of the PEI wind.

I never thought I would say that I am happy to be home about this island, but that is how I feel. The muscle-relaxing peacefulness even in frigid temperatures, the laughter that has been playing upon my lips all day, and the sense that some sense of rightness has been restored in my world. I am home, and whether it is for an extended stay or a short visit, it feels really, really good, friends!

Wherever you are, I hope you are having a night rich with dreams, wrapped with the sounds of winter, and that joy is bubbling up plentiful in your chest!

Tuesday, December 27, 2011

Island-bound


Some of my peeps from PEI that I will be seeing soon!
It is Tuesday evening. Tomorrow morning I will be rising at around 2.30am to get ready to head off to the airport. It is nice to be leaving a house that is still inhabited by people instead of an home emptied of furniture as is often what I see when I glance back into a space I am leaving. It has been a productive day--I think there is actually some chance of my actually getting to bed early enough to get some shut-eye before I have to be up and on the go again.

The next few days promise to be full of awesome people, joy, snow, and lots of hot tea, and I promise to share as much of my travels with you as I can, keeping in mind that also want to focus my attention on the present moment and enjoying the company of so many close friends. 

I had planned on blogging every day this month. That was before I booked this trip. I have been thinking about whether to take my computer with me on this trip, and have decided that I am going to take it, but that I may or may not be blogging every day that I am away. You will notice a definite silence tomorrow. This is because I will be in the air, en-route to Prince Edward Island from six in the morning until midnight (or 4am, if you are in California!). I will try to post at least a few times while I am away to keep you updated on all of my winter adventures!

Thank you all for being such supportive readers over the last few weeks and months! I bid you goodnight from California! More from snowy PEI!

Friday, March 4, 2011

I. Love. My. Life.

I really do. And since it is Friday and I think I might be getting sick despite only being on day 3 of my 19 day Baha'i fast, and am home on a Friday night, in bed, I think it is time for a list. I suggest you join me and make a list too, just for the hell of it. Random reasons why your world rocks. I will go first. But I would love to read your reasons if you feel like posting them here. Here goes. Random reasons my (currently delirious) world rocks:

1. I spent my entire day on Thursday on a farm in the sunshine harvesting vegetables, weeding an herb garden, and canvasing a local neighbourhood with some very cool high school students. We were trying to find out if people with fruit trees in their gardens wanted us to harvest their fruit through a program called Harvest Sacramento. The owner can keep as much of the harvested fruit as they want, and the rest is donated to the food bank.

The Youth Garden at Soil Born Farms
Waiting for the youth to arrive at Soil Born Farms
Youth cooking healthy meal at Soil Born Farms
One of my favourite activities is planting seeds in springtime, like these fancy mamas (a.k.a. Bachelor's Buttons):


and these beans, that are going to be mighty tasty in soup:


And not only do I get to plant seeds, but sometimes something miraculous happens from one Thursday to the next. Something that looks like this:


And if you knew me as my friends back in Canada do, you would know that when I see these little fellas pressing up through the earth, I am imagining something like this:

I am told that the seeds above in the foreground are Lupins. I have yet to see whether they grow quite as tall at the PEI variety! 
Oh. I almost forgot. If that was not enough to make me the happiest woman on the planet, I also got to see this yesterday above the farm:

I hope you can make them out here. There were huge flocks of Sandhill Cranes migrating north. They were beautiful!
2. I have amazing friends all over the world who make me laugh; who go running with me; pray with me, and are always there when I need to talk:

California friends
Three Canadian women whose friendship has changed my life

3. I am having my first tea descriptions printed on Lady Baker's Tea Trolley tea packages this week. Will post photos when I see the labels on the bags!

4. The round the world journal that I am working on with eleven of my amazing friends made it safely to New Zealand despite the earthquake and the fact that the house it was addressed to was so damaged by the earthquake that my dear friend Pascale had to abandon it. You can keep updated on the whereabouts of our journal, and see a few peeks of the beautiful and inspiring content at unconventionallyinspired12.wordpress.com

5. Tomorrow I am driving to the Bay Area to pick up a soulmate from BC, who will be spending the weekend with me. A fellow writer, we are going to take long walks, drink tea, and write together. I cannot wait to see her radiant face tomorrow!

Ahava, looking radiant on the organic farm she lives on in British Columbia, Canada
 6. I received a package in the mail today from Green & Black's organic chocolate containing a gift certificate for REI so that I can go and start purchasing the gear I need for my expedition at the end of the month. The days are passing so incredibly quickly! I cannot believe that I head to the Dominican Republic in only a few weeks! You can see the monthly updates from the five of us from the US that will be headed down to the organic cocoa farms at the end of the month here.

7. I got my Master's degree in island studies. And although people always look at me funny when I say that, the reality is that it means that I get to go to places like this, and call it work:


8. Spending so much of my time on islands means that I get to experience truly spectacular natural landscapes and wildlife on a regular basis. The natural world, and my relationship to it, is an integral part of what I value most about the world. I will finish up this entry with a video clip from one of my favourite places in the world -- a cape that I used to drive to often after long summer and fall days working on a farm on PEI, in Canada. I would lie in the tall grass and listen to and watch the cormorants. There are hundreds of them nesting in these cliffs on PEI. The ocean crashes up on the rocks. It is wild and spectacularly beautiful.


And with that, I wish you a wonderful Friday night, an excellent weekend, and an enjoyable list-making session! (I would love to read your lists here, if you would like to share). I will be out exploring the world with Ahava this weekend, but I will write a full post on Monday to share some of our adventures with you.

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

The blessings of sacrifice

Day 1 of the Baha'i fast ended tonight at sunset, and although I had an amazing prayer time at dawn this morning and an extremely productive day, I was, nevertheless, very ready to eat come sunset. I find that the first few days of the 19 day fast are really tough, and today was no exception. By late morning I already had a headache despite having a good breakfast and four large glasses of water before sunrise (which, come to think of it, may be why I had a headache...)

Tonight we had a devotional gathering at our home. The topic was the blessings of sacrifice. I recall that when the woman in our group who came up with that theme suggested it when we were coming up with monthly themes many months ago, I felt myself physically recoil for some reason. So I have to admit that I was not sure how tonight was going to go.

As it turned out, there were only four of us at the devotional tonight (which meant we were left with most of a pie and almost an entire quiche in the fridge, in a household with three people who are not eating during daylight hours for the next 18 days....someone please come raid our fridge!) and my mom came up with a wonderful program with readings that approached sacrifice from many different perspectives. She then led a discussion about instances that we could recall in which we sacrificed something in the short term that ended up resulting in unforeseen blessings further down the road. The discussion was an interesting one, and the other two participants said that they probably do make sacrifices on a regular basis, but that they do not feel that they are making sacrifices at the time that they are making the decision to either do or not do something. 

Given that what is most present in my mind and heart at the moment is the decision of whether moving back to PEI, whether it be for a year to house sit for a friend, or beyond, is the right thing for me right now, I started reflecting on my six years on PEI, and how tough those years were for me socially. I met many fantastic people who are lifelong friends, but I did not not have the close circle of friends that were close to me in age that I had grown accustomed to having before moving to PEI. I was very conscious of this the entire time I lived on PEI. It meant that in the evenings I was usually home reading a book or writing. Not being a drinker, the bar scene was not for me, and I just never really found a group of like-minded folks my own age. I did not really mind, but of course it meant that I spent a lot of time alone over the six years that I was living on the island. I enjoy alone time, but I also really love the company of friends. I am generally quite social. So learning to adjust to so much time alone was definitely a challenge for me -- one which I am not entirely sure I ever fully conquered. Living on PEI, I felt as though my social life was definitely an area in which I had to make sacrifices.

There were other things on PEI that I loved though. Things that made it all worthwhile for me. The beautiful beaches and natural areas that I could get to easily in short periods of time. The farmer's market, which I adored. The trail right across from my house that I ran on regularly. The close proximity to farmland that I could spend full days on planting, weeding or harvesting crops. The community of amazing people who shared things with me that I would never have learned if I had been limiting my social life to my peers. People who had the skills to build their own homes, haul their own firewood out of the forest and chop it up themselves, and grow their own food. I really valued being surrounded by such skilled people, and I hope that some of their do-it-yourself mentality rubbed off on me, because Prince Edward Islanders are definitely empowered people. I also valued that the bank clerks knew me by voice, so that when I would call in they knew who was speaking. The tiny yet huge details of a small town that are lost in a large city.

I have been thinking a lot about whether I might take one of my best friends up on her offer to house-sit for the year that she is away working in France. Part of me is jumping with joy at this offer. The part that misses the natural environment on PEI like crazy, and that still gets tears in her eyes when she talks about pretty much anyone in my closely-knit community. It is amazing to me that although it has been over a year since I left the island, I still think of everyone there as my community and family, and miss their presence in my life deeply every day. I guess that is what happens when you open yourself to a place completely. It comes rushing in, and becomes an integral part of who you are.

I am not at all settled in California. I am constantly looking for work elsewhere, and hoping that I will find work that will enable me to relocate to the Mediterranean or Central America. But over the last few months I have been working really hard at my writing, and I am finally starting to make some progress. This week I sent off three article pitches to magazines, and I am now writing tea descriptions for a tea company that, interestingly, is back on PEI. I am also in the process of talking to a friend about interviewing her for an article about a very interesting project she is working on in Mali (which I will share with you once it is done!) I have a large group of friends that I socialize with regularly here. I am loving my regular runs in the park near our house and my yoga practice, which helps keep me grounded. I am heading off to the Dominican Republic to build a gravity-fed drinking water system for cocoa farmers in a few weeks. And I am hoping to be able to spend a week or two in Portugal this summer. Things are definitely looking up.

So when I got the news that this spring may be one of my last chances to move back to PEI and re-establish myself before my visa expires late this summer, it is understandable that I would feel conflicted. I left PEI for a social life and to pursue my own writing career. Now both of these things are taking off, but I am missing my closely knit small rural community. There has to be a balance somewhere, it seems. I have just not found it yet.

So when we were talking about sacrifice tonight, I found it ironic that back on PEI I consciously sacrificed a more active social life in order to live in a beautiful, small, rural community; and now that I have the social life, by choosing to remain here, I am also choosing, at least for the time-being, to live in a big, noisy city in which I have to worry about personal safety, rarely get to see the stars, and do not even know the names of the couple that live next door. The topic of sacrifice was chosen because of the Fast, but it has much further reaching relevance to my life as a while right now.

It is getting late, and I have to be up at dawn, so had better turn in. I am heading to bed thinking about sacrifices. The ones I make. The ones I am not willing to make. The ones I was willing to make in the past, but am not entirely sure I am still willing to make today. Reflecting on sacrifice brings priorities and dreams in life bubbling to the surface. Priorities and dreams that I know I have to be true to, even if it means I have to make painful sacrifices.

What are your thoughts on sacrifice? Are there any sacrifices that you have made (perhaps without realizing it at the time) that have resulted in blessings in the long-term?

Monday, January 17, 2011

The ethics of cheap food

A volunteer from Japan learning more about organic food production on PEI, Canada
"Whatever affects one directly, affects all indirectly. I can never be what I ought to be until you are what you ought to be. This is the interrelated structure of reality." -Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.
"A human being is a part of the whole, called by us, "Universe," a part limited in time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts and feelings as something separated from the rest -- a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness.This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest to us. Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty."  -Albert Einstein
Working in the organic food industry, people are constantly telling me why they do not eat organically grown food. They say "it is too expensive" to eat organically, or "I bought organic fruit/vegetables once, but they were rotting within a week," or "organic food is a luxury for the wealthy..."

I have heard a lot of arguments about why people are not eating organically. This blog entry is for those who are open to hearing the other side of the story.

I grew up on the Mediterranean island of Cyprus. When I moved there, as a six year old, agriculture was still a major source of income for Cypriots. Cypriots are, from most perspectives, wealthy people. They may not all have huge savings accounts and be living in mansions, but most families own agricultural land. Unlike much of North America, agricultural land in Cyprus has traditionally been divided into relatively small parcels. The most common crops are grapes, olives, carob, citrus fruit, nuts, and bananas. When I was growing up, many of my friends would spend part of their weekends in the family village taking care of their vineyards, orchards, or plantations. Many of the family plots are located near the village that the family originally came from, and have been passed down from parents to children for generations. Cyprus was a rather poor country in its not too distant past, and having land meant being able to support and sustain one's family.

As a child, I occasionally accompanied my friends and their parents to their family villages on the weekend to help them with their fieldwork. I experienced how much hard physical work goes into producing and harvesting a healthy, plentiful crop, and watched people I love farm using very little other than their hands, hoes and shovels, and a donkey to carry their harvest back to their truck. I also watched them engage in activities like spraying their crops. In Cyprus, both then and, in many cases still now, this meant standing beneath a tree or a trellis, gathering handfulls of white powder from a burlap bag labeled with a skull and crossbones, and hurling this powder at the tree or vine. Some of my friends' parents had hand-held pumps filled with the mixture, and would aim a sprayer at the plant and then pump white clouds of chemicals out into the air. There were, at the time, no masks involved in this process. No gloves. Sometimes they would wear their own glasses to shield their eyes, but often they would not. I would stand and watch as they disappeared in a thick cloud of dust. At the end of the day, they would get back in the truck covered from head to toe in white powder. White hair. White faces. I remember even as a child wondering whether this was healthy.

When my mother and I would go to the supermarket to buy fruit, everything was always covered in a fine layer of this toxic smelling "white dust" as I used to call it. I wondered why everything had to be so thickly covered in it, and asked my friends' parents a number of times, hoping to understand better why our food looked so sick. I was told, over and over, that if we did not apply fertilizers, pesticides and herbicides to our crops, they would be attacked by insects or crowded out by weeds. I even asked whether it was necessary to use so much of it. I was told that because we live on a poor island, we are given the poorest quality chemicals that nobody else wants, so we have to apply more than it says to apply for it to be effective. These were the actual words that my friends' parents used. I do not know who told them this, but they believed it, and at seven, eight, nine years old, I was not going to try to argue with them. Still, it bothered me that we had to peel all of our fruit and vegetables growing up, and it bothered me that our cucumbers smelled so intensely of chemicals that even after peeling them and soaking them, I often had to pick them out of my salad because I just could not bring myself to eat them.

In 2000, I spent time in Costa Rica, and visited multinational banana and pineapple plantations to learn more about where some of the food I was eating was being grown. I saw workers out in fields harvesting while airplanes were spraying the very same fields from above. I saw bags being placed around bananas so that they grew in the particular shape that had been deemed most pleasing to North American and European consumers (these were different, just in case you are wondering. Europeans and North Americans prefer bananas that are completely different dimensions). I saw bananas that had even the slightest mark on their skins being removed to be sold on the local market, bunches of bananas being doused in a preservatives to keep them from ripening too fast, and bananas being shipped in huge refrigerated ships headed north. I saw enormous areas of rain forest being clear cut in order to establish miles and miles of a single crop. People moving into previously unsettled land to work at these plantations earning salaries so low that it made me cringe. I spoke to field workers who told me, again and again, about the number of children being born with severe birth defects, which they thought were the result of all of the chemicals that they were having to work around every day. And I learned that the wealth of the soil in rain forests is contained in the roots of the trees, which means that after clear-cutting the forest, the crops use up all of the initially released nutrients, and within a few years the soil is exhausted, productivity drops, and eventually companies pull out and go elsewhere, where the process begins again, leaving people jobless, and having to either clear cut more forest to subsist, or move and follow the company to its new location. All of this so that I could eat a banana that cost me not even a dollar, or a pineapple that came with the marketing line "Golden on the outside. Golden on the inside. Tastes like pina colada."

In my twenties, I finally took an organic farming class in university, and experienced a different way of farming. The soil was not seen as a vessel into which treated seeds and synthetic chemicals were placed, but a living organism that, if treated with care, worked with farmers to help crops grow healthy and strong, year after year. I learned that by growing smaller amounts of a diversity of crops, the impact of diseases or infestations could be minimized, because a disease that impacted potatoes might not influence strawberries, and an insect that loved squash would often have no influence of broccoli. In other words, diseases and insect damage was minimized, and if one crop was completely wiped out, there were other crops that the farmer could still sell and make an income off of. Diversity meant greater security. The other thing that I found amazing was that by growing different crops in different plots, they could be rotated from year to year, and a crop that generated a particular soil nutrient could be grown in a plot that, the year before, had been used to grow a crop that had a heavy demand for that same nutrient. This meant that land could remain productive year after year. These were, of course, practices that had been in place for thousands of years, having been used by Native Peoples in North America and elsewhere long before people re-introduced it as "organic farming." Having been raised to think that insects were detrimental to farming, I was surprised to learn that some insects, like ladybugs, actually protect plants from aphids, and that worms aerate and enrich the soil, creating a healthier crop. I was also interested to learn that there were other ways to keep unwanted insects off of a crop, such as planting a row of another plant that could potentially attract the insects that might otherwise have attacked the main crop. I also noticed that there were more birds flying around organic fields, more wildlife passing through them, and that the farmers using organic methods seemed to be in good health, and often living a quality of life was is comparable with their non-farming neighbours.

Springwillow Farms, where most of the food I have eaten over the last 6 years was grown
Over the last twenty-five years, I have watched more and more Cypriots move into the urban centres, travel abroad to get their education, and take jobs working for banks, government offices, and schools. Most of my friends consider farming a poor man's profession, and few of them still accompany their parents to the villages to maintain the family land. With changes in agricultural policy, fruit and vegetables are now being imported from Europe. We actually have so many bananas coming from Latin America into Cyprus at such a cheap price that my friends' parents are either leaving their crop on the trees or burying the fruit because they cannot compete. In 2006 I spent time interviewing a number of these farmers, and they told me that their children (my friends) were urging them to sell the land to developers, but that they could not bear to lose their orchards/vineyards/plantations. A few of them told me that they still go water their trees and vines even though they are not harvesting the fruit. That they are paying out money that they are not earning back to pay for the water. When I asked them why, they told me that it made them sad to watch their trees die. I was moved. The idea that one generation ago, people were so connected to their land that they are still willing to give hard earned income away that they will not get back just to make sure that land stays green is amazing to me given the state of agriculture in Cyprus today. Don't get me wrong. I understand why my friends want to sell their family land. I wouldn't do it, because like their parents, I love the natural world far too much to part with it for extra income, but given the urban nature of life today, I can see how my friends do not see it being of any value any longer.

When I was home in 2006, another thing I asked these farmers was whether they had experienced any health problems from handling and inhaling all those chemicals they have been around all their lives. Their response was "the company we bought them from told us that they were safe. Wouldn't they have told us if they were harmful?" Apparently they had not had any noticeable adverse reactions. Yet. A few of the other farmers I interviewed had experienced health problems which they attributed to a lifetime of exposure to pesticides and herbicides. One of the farmers had lost his father to chemically induced cancer. Another had cancer when I interviewed him. I realized, as a result of having these conversations, the level of trust that these people, who I love deeply, and have known most of my life, have in the fertilizer and pesticide companies. I also realized, after spending my whole life around these amazing people, that many of them could barely read or write, and could therefore not understand the instructions on the labels all those years.

Today there are thousands of vineyards and orchards that are sitting abandoned in Cyprus. The older members of families have either passed away, or are simply not able to maintain them, and there is not enough profit in it anymore for the younger generations to take time away from their busy careers and families in the cities and drive to the villages to farm. Who knows -- maybe they wouldn't be interested even if there were a reasonable livelihood to be made. We may never know, because competing with international corporations is not something that many young adults are going to take on in today's economic climate. The numbers of those farming today is getting smaller and smaller, and the amount of land that these people is farming is getting larger and larger -- Cyprus is walking in the footsteps of so many other countries who are investing in chemical intensive, large scale agriculture. It may be developing slower, but it is happening. Parallel to this, more and more is imported from large farms in the EU and Latin America at less than half the price. So we are paying less for our food. We are also losing those beautifully maintained terraced grape vineyards, and along with them the birds that nest in grape-vineyards and the diversity in the types of grapes that we grow, and the ultimately, the hard-earned knowledge of how to grow grapes that has been passed down from generation to generation. Just thinking about grapes, I can think of a handful of traditional desserts made using their juice, and then there are all the wines and vinegars, the festivals and the stories and even the potential income from tourists who enjoy the agricultural landscapes, the fruit, the festivities centered around that fruit. So we are paying less for our food. Is that really all that important in the long term scheme of things? What do we value about our islands and communities? What makes Cyprus a place that is different and unique? What do we love about our island? What kind of a relationship do we have with the natural environment when we rarely find time to interact with it? 

Over the last six years I have been living and working on another island where agriculture is part of the daily life. A part of the culture and history and identity. PEI used to be a patchwork of small family farms. Over time, intensive, industrial agriculture has taken over, farms have gotten bigger and bigger to compete, and today when you drive down country roads it is rare to not see at least one for sale sign outside a farm gate -- on many roads there are many such signs. Many of the farmers I have spoken to on PEI have had at least one person in their family get cancer, and many people feel strongly that this was the direct result of all the synthetic chemicals used to try to pump up production and continue competing with the giant farms that dominate the market. PEI also has a vibrant fishing community, but in the last ten to fifteen years fish kills have become more and more frequent. Heavy rains wash chemicals into waterways and out into the ocean. Fish wash up on the shore dead. People get cancer. Communities suffer. Most farms go under despite all attempts to increase productivity. Communities suffer more. We buy cheap food from the Superstore. Our farmers drive trucks that bring us cheap food grown on giant farms in other provinces. Our farmers go to the food bank to get food because they cannot feed their families.

Stephen Cousins and his son harvesting organic strawberries on Shepherd's Farm, PEI

You may be wondering when I am going to get to the point. Here it is. Yes. Organic food is slightly more expensive than conventional crops. But how much are you spending on health care? Our medical bills get higher and higher every year, parallel with our air getting more and more polluted and more and more chemicals turning up in our water. There is a reason why an organic potato starts sprouting if you wait too long to eat it and a conventional potato can sit there endlessly without sprouting -- the organic potato is still alive. If you cut it up, you could re-plant it, and it still has the capacity to grow new potatoes. Your conventional potato has lost the ability to do that. Yes, it is cheaper. It is also doused in chemicals that are harming our families, our soil, our water, and our wildlife. And I am not even talking about flavour here. Have you tasted the vegetables and fruit that we are getting for such a great price at the grocery store lately? Neither have I. There is, I find, very little to taste.

I don't know. You tell me. Is it not worth a little extra to know that our food is not undermining our own happiness and health? It is not worth a little extra to know that the farming methods that were used to grow our food did not result in women giving birth to children with birth defects? I know that times are tough right now, but I do not see them getting any easier by our continuing to exhaust our soils, cut down our forests, kill off our wildlife and make our families sick by ingesting synthetic chemicals.

The last time I was home in Cyprus, a few organic farmers were sprouting up here and there. They are not thriving, but they are succeeding, and their markets are growing. Standing at an organic winery in the hills outside Limassol with the owner, I looked out over a valley of abandoned vineyards. The owner of the winery told me that they wanted to increase production, but were having trouble finding enough grapes. Not enough grapes? On a Mediterranean island? I was saddened, but not surprised. Still, I do find it heartening to meet farmers that are trying a different approach. One that is economically viable and good for the environment and human health. It is a complex story, but one worth reflecting on. Every choice we make when we enter a grocery store has an impact somewhere in the world. On islands these choices have immediate, visible results because we only have so much land. The choices we make with our purchasing power are ethical choices. They will fuel land zoning policy and development practices. In Cyprus, when I buy local produce, I know I am supporting the preservation, on however small a scale, of local agriculture. It is part of what I value most about my home. In PEI, when I buy potatoes from the farmer's market, I know I am helping to keep a family farm in business. Community is part of what I value about PEI. Sure I eat a banana every now and then, but I do try to find organic bananas before I go out and buy Chiquita. And when I do eat a Chiquita, I try to be conscious of what my choice to do so is supporting.

I had an interview this morning with an organic chocolate company, Green & Black's. Their motto is: "created without compromise." They believe that when you treat the earth well, the earth gives back something of quality and value. Their farmers are in Belize and the Dominican Republic. They are assured a minimum price on their cocoa so that they have a certain degree of economic security. They are also given a premium because their beans are organic. The premium is used by local cooperatives to invest in infrastructure, education and community development. Their chocolate is divine.There are many other companies out there doing innovative things that result in delicious, healthy products that do not compromise our health, the health of our children or our environment.

What kinds of choices do you make when it comes to your food? Have you thought about how your purchasing power influences your environment, health, and community, or the environment, health and community of someone who lives on the other side of the world?

Sunday, January 16, 2011

Why no two cups of tea will ever be the same

Photo credit: Leila Aghdassi, 2009
Drink your tea slowly and reverently, as if it is the axis on which the world earth revolves - slowly, evenly, without rushing toward the future.  ~Thich Nat Hahn

Each cup of tea represents an imaginary voyage.  ~Catherine Douzel

You have probably been wondering where I have been. Two words: Drinking. Tea.

I have started writing some articles about tea for a friend who owns a tea company back on PEI. I have been a big tea drinker my whole life. Growing up in Cyprus, there is a tradition of sitting around the kitchen table catching up with friends while sipping endless cups of hot tea (or coffee, but I am not a coffee fan). As a child, we used to pick fresh mint in the mountains, brew it up, and sweeten it with honey. It was the perfect pick-me-up on a grey day!
 
Bread and water can so easily be toast and tea.  ~Author Unknown
 

Living on PEI, tea became a much larger part of my life. Winters on PEI were very long, and very cold. Especially for a Mediterranean girl like myself. I soon discovered that Prince Edward Islanders have discovered that the best way to get through tough winters is to come together regularly to enjoy each others company -- usually over a hot cup of tea. On PEI this was usually Red Rose tea, which has a robust flavour and a deep reddish hue when held up to the light. The company's mantra is: "Here's one more reason to stay indoors this winter!" The tea definitely does not keep Canadians indoors, however it was a great way to warm up before heading back out into the cold. Over the six years that I lived on the island, I spent many an afternoon or evening sitting around a table with groups of women of all ages, listening to, and telling stories, laughing, and sipping hot sweet tea. Tea brought people together and lifted spirits.

Enjoying tea with some of my favourite tea-drinking companions on PEI
 Working on a farm, it was also an opportunity to bustle into the farmhouse at Springwillow Farms and warm my hands up after harvesting vegetables in the fall. One of my best memories of working on the farm was the time I spent in the farmhouse kitchen sipping tea with Joyce Loo (the owner of the farm), and listening to her tell stories about life on the farm. It is something I miss now that I am in California, and I often find myself thinking of her when I sit at my kitchen table sipping tea.

Joyce Loo and I in her farmhouse kitchen at Springwillow Farms
Another tradition that I built for myself while living on PEI was going to the farmer's market every Saturday morning to buy my food directly from local farmers. Charlottetown has a great farmer's market, if you ever find yourself in Charlottetown and are looking for something fun to do. It is open year-round on Saturdays, and during the summer months it is open on Wednesdays also. It has lots of organic fruits and vegetables, superb baked goods, fresh meat and fish, locally made arts and crafts, a coffee bar, a tea bar, and a number of food stalls selling everything from traditional Canadian dishes to Indian, Lebanese and African food. After I had all of my groceries, I would get myself a cup of tea from Lady Baker's Tea Trolley, and migrate into the adjoining community room -- a room filled with picnic-style tables that all sorts of people would share, everyone hunkered down next to everyone else. That room was a great way to meet people as well as a place to catch up with old friends. I would take my tea with me, and settle down at a random table. Sometimes I would take my journal and write. Sometimes I would take a novel. But often the book or journal would stay in my bag because I would sit down next to someone who would strike up a conversation, and would forget I even brought something else to do. I loved sitting in this room sipping my tea. I loved the bustle and laughter and the sound of people selling their products. In the summer months the market expands outside, and there is often live music. It is a great place for community gathering and connecting.

Over the six years that I visited the farmer's market pretty much every Saturday, I developed a great love for quite a number of Katherine's teas, and so when I left to move to California, I bought quite a bit of it to bring along with me. I still have a considerable amount left, and I enjoy sipping it while I write, because is tastes divine, and because it connects me back to PEI the minute I inhale the aroma from my cup. Right now I am writing about my favourite tea, which is called Lady's Slipper blend. Fingers crossed, she will love my description of it, and will add it to her web site. Keep checking here.

If man has no tea in him, he is incapable of understanding truth and beauty.  ~Japanese 
Proverb

Lately I have been spending a lot of time with a new friend who is Iranian. You may already know this, but Iranians are tea connoisseurs. From childhood they are steeped in the tradition of tea drinking. They drink mainly black tea, but they have a particular kind of black tea for first thing in the morning, another for the mid-afternoon, and yet another for the evening. And so whenever I visit the home of an Iranian, I always know I can expect an excellent glass of Persian tea. Notice I say glass and not cup or mug. One lesson that the Iranians have taught me is that tea should be drunk in a glass (and yes, I realize that the photographer of the first picture in this entry is Iranian, and yes, I realize that her tea is in a fine china cup, but she was drinking that cup of tea in a fine British hotel, so I am thinking we can let her off the hook just this once!). The reason for drinking tea out of a glass instead of a mug becomes immediately obvious the first time you drink tea (without milk) in a glass: you can appreciate the beautiful amber colour of the liquor. If you are sitting in a room bathed in sunlight, it is even more spectacular, in an "I need to write a poem about the colour of this tea" kind of way. I usually drink my tea with milk and honey, but over the past month, as I write about tea, and try to detect the subtle notes of various distant flowers and spices, I have also started drinking more of my tea clear to enjoy the warm rosy amber or coppery hues as I sip it. It does add a new dimension to drinking tea that I had never considered before. Give it a try and let me know what you think!

There is a great deal of poetry and fine sentiment in a chest of tea.  ~Ralph Waldo Emerson, Letters and Social Aims 

Tea intrigues me because when I drink it I feel as though I am experiencing another, very distant and often rather foreign (to me) part of the world for a brief period of time. I am fascinated by the idea that no two cups of tea are ever exactly the same, because the weather, the harvest time and method, and the processing and tea crafting techniques are always fluctuating and changing. The idea that the flavour, aroma, and yes, even the colour of my cup of tea is a reflection of the monsoon rains in India or the drought in China blows me away. These tiny furled leaves are unfolding themselves in my cup and telling me a story of the shift of seasons in the tea plantations in India; the story of the women in China or Sri Lanka whose hands picked the tea; the story of the new mechanized harvesting being used to increase profits; the story of the wildflowers that grew near the tea plantation in Sri Lanka, and whose perfume wafted over the tea while it was growing. Every little element of place is subtly infused into the tea leaves that are in my cup here on my kitchen table in California.

I have a passion for stories. The story of people, of plants, of the food on my plate. I love learning more about what went into something before it reached me. How place influences who we are. How climate and culture influence the flavour and aroma of our food. How knowing the story behind something or someone changes my experience of that thing or person.

So when I vanish for a few days, it is usually because I am tracing the path of some new story -- exploring its contours and textures, and how change has influenced its current state. I do return from my journey though, and when I do, I usually have something to share with you as well!

Do you have any interesting stories about tea, or any favourite teas that you think I should try? I would love to hear from you if you do. I am looking for some new teas to try and write about. Especially ones grown on islands. Any suggestions?

Thursday, December 23, 2010

Reverb10, Day 22: No place like home

Prompt: Travel. How did you travel in 2010? How and/or where would you like to travel next year? 

The author of this prompt is Tara Hunt:
The Whuffie Factor: Using the Power of Social Networks to Build Your Business
@missrogue


"Let not a man glory in that he loves his country; let him rather glory in this, that he loves his kind."
~ Baha'u'llah ~

 I have traveled across the maps of geography this last year. Across snow-covered mountains and prairies and the wide open vistas of desert and agricultural valleys. But I have already said enough about these journeys. I have also embarked on an internal journey of discovery.

My internal journey is very personal, but it extends out into the world around me in very real ways. In trying to figure out who I am, I am also trying to better understand what kind of environment I operate best in; what kind of community do I want to be a part of? How do I contribute to creating the kind of community atmosphere that I do deeply want to be a part of? Until six years ago, I did not think much about my role in creating the kind of community that I am excited to be a part of. I have lived in amazing communities my whole life. I grew up on the island of Cyprus surrounded by a community of people who I consider to be family. People who shaped my values and taught me to love deeply, to serve with everything I have in me, to develop an intimate and powerful relationship with the land and sea that surrounded me. Cyprus taught me loyalty and justice, and that there are very few things I would not do for a friend. It also taught me the importance of a community. Of roots. Of family. Of a strong story. A sense of belonging.

When I went off to Prescott College in Arizona, I was immersed in a community that was supportive, creative, innovative, open-minded, adventurous, inspired, inspiring, energetic...there was a sense that anything was possible in this community. I learned that the natural world was an integral part of my community. I made friends with powerful, strong, graceful women who danced and did yoga and meditated and prayed and sang...women who went hiking and camping with me; women who were fearless and open-hearted and full of laughter and fun and hope and dreams. I met faculty who were humble, and who I respected, and still respect deeply -- who were willing to walk by my side as we learned together instead of looking down on me from the tower of their PhDs. I learned to question, to believe in myself, to explore beyond my comfort zone. My community was dedicated to serving humanity. We wanted to work together. We traveled, we started NGOs to help better integrate the Mexican immigrant community with the mainly white, Caucasian community, we fought for justice and human rights. My friends and faculty became another extension of my family -- my network for experiencing the world; the strong foundation from which I could confidently explore the world.

When I moved to Prince Edward Island, I was integrated into a closely knit, supportive community. PEI has the highest level of volunteerism in all of Canada. Someone is sick, people organize a fundraiser to help pay medical bills; someone needs a new house, people turn up to help build it; when you need food, you can buy it from a farmer who lives relatively nearby. The network is tight, and it is strong. Sometimes stronger than residents would like, but it does have its advantages. For the first number of years that I lived on PEI, I enjoyed the strong sense of community without really thinking much about what it means to be a member of such a community. Once I graduated with my M.A., and started working with a local farmer, I started realizing how much personal energy, love, commitment, time, money, patience, determination, and and selfless service goes into maintaining the community life that I had come to value so much. It is not a culture built upon the freedom and independence of the individual. It is all about connection and mutual support, and therefore sometimes disagreements, struggle, reconciliation, and adaptation. Being a small place, there is very little luxury for not getting along with one's neighbour. Of course this means that people are sometimes pleasant on the surface in order to keep the peace, when underneath they are boiling with anger, but I found that just as often, the close-proximity means that people honestly do learn to work alongside each other even thought their ethics and ideals may differ tremendously.

In addition to my larger community on PEI, I had the community that I built through my Baha'i activities. The Baha'i community did have its struggles, like any community. Sometimes we had personal disagreements, which would boil over, but we would confront them, move through the pain and hurt feelings, and find resolution. There was a level of commitment and willingness...an unspoken acknowledgment that we were invested in wading through the quicksand to get to solid ground. Unity was our goal, and we did not let our personal hurt feelings stop us from always striving for it. Call it idealistic. Call it impossible. It was how we lived, and it created an environment that was loving, supportive, empowering, and inspiring. I could not wait to get to community events. I felt it was an honour to be elected to, and serve on our local administrative body. My community was, and has remained, despite the vast distance separating us now, my immediate family.

Living on PEI helped me to learn that being part of a community like I have just described is not easy. I was hurt many times, frustrated many times, angered many times. But I learned to stay put and grow through these times. When I was insulted; when my feelings were hurt; when I did something that hurt someone else's feelings or angered someone -- I did not walk out of the room and retreat into myself. I stayed right there, swallowed my pride and my hurt, and I grew through it with whoever I was having the interaction with. It was very hard, and sometimes we did not succeed in reconciling our differences on the first try, but we kept trying. I kept trying. I learned that I valued the unity of my community over needing to being right every time. I realized that a community is a reflection of the energy that each member puts into it. Things were not perfect, but I learned that if I remained open and willing to adjusting my perspective -- if I knew deep down that whoever I was experiencing difficulty with was someone who I loved and respected, and who loved and respected me -- that we would get through this and that our community would be stronger as a result. I learned all of this from experiencing it. It was a gift to be a member of a community like this, but it was also a responsibility.

Having moved to a new community, I am having to learn to negotiate new community dynamics. When I first arrived, and for many months after arriving, I simply did not engage with my community. I was critical of the dynamics at play, and did not want to engage with them. As a result, I have been living here for many months now, and I still do not feel that I am a part of a supportive, engaging community. I have been reflecting on this deeply lately. I realize that all communities are different. I am living in a much larger city, so relationships are going to be influenced by the cultural and geographic circumstances that we are living in. The weather here is much milder, so people do not have to band together to get through tough winters. People earn relatively good salaries, so they do not have to support each other as much to make sure that everyone has food on the table, or that medical bills get paid. But I still have neighbours. I still have a community whose energy is influenced by what its individual members are willing to put into it. I still have a role that I can choose to put all of my heart, or only part of my heart, into. If I want to live in a community that is happy and exciting and supportive, I have a role to play in creating such a community. I have a choice about what I surround myself with, and that choice is not just whether I stay or leave. It is also about how I choose to engage with the community that I happen to be in while I am here, however long that might me.

Yes, I have traveled this year. But some of the most important journeys seem to be taking place when I stop moving so much. When I put down some roots. And when I start contributing to building the kinds of relationships with the people who surround me that inspire and energize me. When I start proactively contributing to creating a community that feels like home around me.